Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Nanny nanny boo-boo

Pretty Lady has a walk-in closet. And she didn't pay $38,500 for it either.

Just because Pretty Lady is a New Yorker, at the present time, does not mean that she has succumbed to the total insanity of hard-core, ossified, unable-to-imagine-living-anywhere-else Manhattanites. She has not forgotten or dismissed the fact that the sum that these fools have dropped upon a 10 x 10 basement room with a dirt floor, is equivalent to the down payment on a farmhouse upstate, with acreage.

Pretty Lady has always had phenomenally good real-estate karma, Neanderthals and ghettos notwithstanding. She cannot take much credit for this, except for the fact that there are certain degrees of foolishness that she refuses to stoop to. She will put up with gritty and unfashionable surroundings, to a certain extent; she will sacrifice Cuteness for Affordability, and even grudgingly throw the occasional bicycle and car window into the kitty.

But she is not so addicted to City Living that she has lost all sense of proportion and practicality. Should the day come that Phil goes impractically co-op, and nothing in her vicinity can be had for less than the price of a small South American country, and her network of acquaintances and fans fails to come through with yet another Real Estate Miracle, she's off. Upstate, Maine, Mexico--even, heaven forfend, Texas.

First, however, she's hoping to hook up with a few dozen New Yorkers who believe that dropping $40K on a broom closet is a good investment, and sell them a few large rectangles of dirt-covered cloth.


Anonymous said...

There's no delicate way to put it: New Yorkers are insane.

Chris Rywalt said...

Not true. Some New Yorkers appear to be insane. But it's an illusion.

New Yorkers are all about working the system. The vast and unyielding bureaucracy of the Capital of the World has spawned a vaster and more ingenious subculture of subversion. At no point is any law -- up to and including all Ten Commandments -- considered absolute. All laws exist to make things More Interesting. If you get caught, that's your fault.

Thus, those crazy rents you hear about all the time -- to quote Kramer from that most New York of TV shows, Seinfeld, "Only suckers pay retail."

You wouldn't believe how inexpensive it can be to live in comfort in New York City. Pretty Lady's "phenomenally good real-estate karma" is more the rule than you'd think.

k said...

Mmmm...but I bet she has it in other spots than New York, too.

Crom said...


Of course, you mean Austin which is an analog of Greenwich Village on the Colorado River...

No matter. It's still home.

Pretty Lady said...

No, no, no. Austin is Far Superior to the Village, which is now entirely an overpriced Disneyland knock-off with a bit of residual queerness left in the cracks, to provide Authentic Local Color.

And I imagine that were I to move back to Texas at this late date, I might as well go whole hog and get a rural farmhouse, or a converted bank building in one of those small towns with the square around City Hall and not much else. If I cashed out of NYC at the right moment, I might even be able to BUY City Hall.