Monday, November 13, 2006

SO do not bother

Recently viewed: 'Firewall,' with Harrison Ford, on second-hand DVD, regrettably purchased from the Blockbuster 2-for-1 rack.

Verdict: See above.

When will screenwriters start obeying the maxim, 'show, don't tell'? It is simply not enough to give a bunch of pretty humans some bland, trite lines to chant, and some dire circumstances wherein they may look prettily distressed, in order to imbue the viewer with a consuming interest in their fates. It is not interesting enough to give us a creepy, dead-eyed Paul Betthany putting these pretty people at mortal peril, simply to have a chunk of change transferred into his Cayman Islands bank account. Paul Betthany should, at the very least, be a committed anarcho-terrorist who plans to use the hundred million dollars to blow up schoolhouses in South Africa, or poison the water supply on Capitol Hill, or amputate the index fingers of masturbatory British schoolgirls. Paul Betthany is simply too creepy to be a run-of-the-mill get-rich-quick schemer.

Paul Betthany, in fact, physiognomically resembles Pretty Lady's ex-boyfriend, the Angry Atheist. Creepy, creepy, creepy.

Additional lament: Pretty Lady purchased this DVD in order to have something to complete her 2-for-1 purchase of the unforgettable, un-pass-uppable 'Stay;' she selected this one, sight unseen, with the view toward using it as a stocking-stuffer for a hard-to-buy-for male relative. But she would never consider unloading this third-rate yawn-fest on her discriminating male relatives. This must go straight to the doorstep, where perhaps a panhandler may be able to exchange it for the price of a slice of pizza. If he's lucky.

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