Thursday, October 19, 2006

My goodness

It seems as though Bill Maher forgot to take his lithium today:

I don't care if Mark Foley had been asking boys to describe their penises because I have some sad news for you: Your kid is so larded out on Cheetos and Yoo-hoo, he can't even see his penis. We live in a country where the ultimate consumer is an obese 16-year-old hooked up at one end to a Big Gulp and at the other to a PlayStation. So many of our kids today are fat drug addicts, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had had puppies.

Unfortunately, he has a bit of a point, there.


Anonymous said...

Maher. What a hypocritical jackass. This is a man who criticizes kids for drug addiction and yet I watched him argue on his show with Jerry Falwell for legalization with marijuana. He also had Rosa Blasi (not exactly the smartest woman on the planet)on there with a marijuana leaf belt buckle reinforcing his unspoken position that if you smoke weed, you will get to have baked sex with someone who looks like her.
And I have news for Bill, the tubby Playstation kids aren't Limbaugh-heads, they are the product of liberal permissive parents who don't understand the difference between discipline and teaching self-discipline to their kids. Never spanking Johnny morphed into never hurting Johnny's feelings, and being a ten year old kid he promptly supersized his order and got back to shooting his friends online. Not exactly conservative traits there. If the Maher-loving parents wanted a lithe and fit son, they wouldn't have poured Ritalin and amphetamines into their kid when he showed the first glimmer of masculinity and had some independent thought. No, instead they cauterized his brain with speed so he would sit still in class and then they wonder why he can do nothing but drool at the screen, greasy controller in hand, fairy-dust dreams of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold dancing an endless pas de mort in his sweaty brain.


Pretty Lady said...

Crom, that was beautiful. Lyrical, erudite, articulate, with a backbeat that could cause the F train to wobble when crossing the Smith street bridge. I am silenced.

However, I must say that I have no problem with the legalization of marijuana, though I myself despise the substance, having been born in a state of consciousness that far transcends the klunky, muddled state of pseudo-creative awareness which it induces. I find potheads to be the greatest bores ever invented.

But I find the notion that the federal government can and will confiscate your house if they happen to find a marijuana seed between your couch cushions, where it fell out of the pocket of your niece's boyfriend's band's drummer three years ago during a party she threw while you were out of town, deeply disturbing.

Chris Rywalt said...

Dearest Crom,

Do you read what other people write or do you just invent whatever sounds good to you? You wrote:

Maher. What a hypocritical jackass. This is a man who criticizes kids for drug addiction and yet I watched him argue on his show with Jerry Falwell for legalization with marijuana.

He didn't criticize kids for drug addictions, he criticized American corporations (Merck, Pfizer, and GlaxoSmithKline by name, in fact) for convincing parents that their kids need to be medicated.

You should note that there isn't a single for-profit corporation spending billions of dollars annually to shove marijuana down anyone's throat.

You also write:
...the tubby Playstation kids...are the product of liberal permissive parents who don't understand the difference between discipline and teaching self-discipline to their kids.

So what you're saying is, all the scientific research showing the ill effects of man-made fats and artificial ingredients in our food supply is actually nonsense, and everyone is fat because they lack willpower -- said willpower having not been inserted into them at a young age. Meanwhile seventy-five years ago, when people were thinner and children could be legally beaten to death, America was drenched in willpower. Yes, I remember well those halcyon days when the entire country gave up alcohol for the poison it is. I get a rosy glow every time I think of the legacy left to us by those golden years, such as the Kennedy family and the Mafia.

Your mini-rant is so totally insane I can't believe I'm even trying to reason with you. You know, I read a theory once stating that Klebold and Harris went nuts and shot up their school because they'd been circumcised. The theory went that since they were circumcised, they were unable to spontaneously teach themselves to masturbate, and the resulting lack of sexual release and frustration eventually boiled over into their gun-toting rampage.

I actually find that theory more plausible than anything you wrote.

In tune with Pretty Lady's dictum regarding insults, then, I ask you: Hot air makes balloons go up. What's keeping you down?

Pretty Lady said...

Fight! Fight! Come on, Crom, are you a libertarian or a fatuous Older Conservative? Get in there and elucidate your point of view, or I am going to declare Chris the victor by default.

Anonymous said...

I will stipulate that if Maher is criticizing drug companies for convincing parents to put their children in chemical restraints, then I would agree with him. The quote I was responding to was the "fat drug addicts" statement.

Now, on to the food argument. When did I mention anything about man-made fats and artificial ingredients? You are tilting at the wrong windmill - and you call me "insane." It is typical of the lesser mind that when faced with unpleasant facts to add unrelated ideas to the argument and then rant senselessly about them. I never mentioned beating children to death, or Prohibition. If you wish to rail against the Kennedys, or the Mafia I can suggest some tin-foil hat friendly sites for you to peruse before the remaining threats of the Illuminati and the Council on Foreign Relations arrive in their owl suits to take you away in their Black Marias. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on the internet, but perhaps you need some Prozac, sir - you clearly come unhinged at things that are not there.

Do I dare Fisk you on the Columbine Circumcision Conspiracy? You admit that it is the more 'plausible' of the theories out there. No, I will let that one stand alone in it's grandeur, unmolested.

It's clear from your raging commentary that you have issues with self-control, and self discipline. Let me sadly say I am not surprised. However, I will admit that the hot air comment, while pithy - is lacking since a comparative study of my first post contrasted with yours shows your post is considerably more heated.

Translation: I am still cooler than you.


Anonymous said...


I am mainly a day poster, if this situation arises please keep in mind that I may not be on during evening hours.

I once had a girlfriend that liked to pick fights, she would be rude to someone and then I would have to kick his ass to defend her 'honor'. I dumped her after I got arrested for shattering a man's jaw and three ribs after she instigated the fight. Your "fight fight" comment brought a smile and some dubious memories back to the surface. Perfect for a Friday, certainly.


Pretty Lady said...

Glad it brought a smile, and not a shudder of retrospective horror. I assure you that I am never rude on purpose. Thought I admit to being a bit of a troublemaker.

Chris Rywalt said...

I could argue this point by point, Crom, but many years of online experience has shown me that this is a waste of everyone's time.

Also, your closing insult was really good.

Just two quick notes: First, no reputable scientific study has ever shown that marjuana is addictive, so if our kids smoked more weed they, at least, wouldn't be "fat drug addicts." They'd be fat stoners.

And second, I didn't say the Columbine Circumcision Conspiracy is plausible, only that it's more plausible than anything in your original post. Let's list these things in order of plausibility:
  Klebold and Harris shot up their school because they were circumcised: Implausible
  Obese people are fat because they lack willpower: Highly implausible
  A large percentage of American children are fat and play Playstation because they were never taught self-discipline: Highly implausible
  Rosa Blasi will have sex with me just because I smoked a doobie: So implausible as to be nearly impossible

Pretty Lady said...

Pretty Lady hereby declares this discussion a draw. Gentlemen, you may shake hands.

Anonymous said...

I second... um, third the idea that Dylan Klebold's and Eric Harris' MGM (male genital mutilation) aka, "RIC (routine infant circumcision)" could be (((A))) factor or (((THE))) factor of the Columbine massacre.