Sunday, October 15, 2006

The Most Horrendous Story Ever

Pretty Lady's dear friend PhantomMut has, at last, set down the story of the fertility adventure, which only the telling makes it worth the experience.

...and I had my left nut drilled looking for reluctant sperm.

They did that under a local anesthetic. But unfortunately, this was truly a PhantomAnesthetic, in that it didn't work.

At all.

The. Most. Painful. Thing. Ever.

I couldn't take a dump for a day and a half because the necessary muscle contractions sent hot daggers of pain through everything even remotely connected to my testicle.

It's amazing what is remotely attached to a testicle.


CAVEAT: THIS WAS A FREAK OCCURRENCE. HONESTLY. ANY GENTLEMEN WHO HAPPEN TO KNOW PRETTY LADY AND HAPPEN TO PERHAPS HAVE FERTILITY ISSUES HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR. THIS WAS A ONE IN A BILLION THING. REALLY.

6 comments:

danonymous said...

so what do these fertility issues have to do with knowing Pretty Lady?

prettylady said...

Nothing. Nothing at all. Zip. Nada. No relationship. No coincidence, correlation, causation, or linkage of any kind.

danonymous said...

ahhhh!

Terrymum said...

Oh my GAWD. This man must (a) truly want children of his own, badly and/or (b) Truly love the potential mother of his children!!! I know it's not funny, but I can't truly relate (being female), so I'm going to send the post/link to some males I know just so I can watch them wince! LOL.

PhantomMut said...

Surprised and scared the heck out of my doctor, both times. (The first time he though was a fluke. The second he waited 20 minutes, and still didn't believe me when I said it wasn't numb, but to do it anyway.) I just don't respond to local anaesthetics.

I don't like going to the dentist either.

k said...

Do you know if you have fibromyalgia? That can cause those local anesthesia problems.

My dentist tells me I have aberrant nerve paths. Now, he and all my docs double the dose, and make sure to hit secondary areas too, not just the usual trunks. It really does help.