Friday, February 08, 2008

Pandemic Misogyny: A Sick Fantasy

Gracious! What with the furor on Sexism over at Edward's, Deborah's response to it, and now this treatise on pornography from Jamie, it seems to be Gender Issues Week in Pretty Lady's neck of the woods. She is terribly sorry to see that some gentlemen appear to be jumping on the bandwagon of Victim Hyperbole:
Not one to pull his punches, Jensen dives right in with the story of how he gave a three hour workshop on pornography to 40 women at a “center that serves battered women and rape survivors” and how much it hurt them to hear of the hate behind the images. His conclusion: “Even these women, who have found ways to cope with the injuries from male violence in other places, struggle with that pornographic reality. It is one thing to deal with acts, even extremely violent acts. It is another to know the thoughts, ideas, and fantasies that lie behind those acts.”

Am I misreading here, or is Jensen saying that porn not only leads to violence against women, it’s worse than violence against women? Women, how do you feel about that? Fellas, do you think your fantasies are worse than rape? I must admit, I used to really beat myself up over my fantasies, but I never thought I was worse than a rapist.
Now, what leapt right out at Pretty Lady was--what kind of misogynistic sadist gives a three-hour workshop on violent pornography to a group of battered women? It strikes her as a distinctly unhelpful activity to engage in. A person whose boundaries have been severely violated needs to feel more safe and protected, not less so. Rubbing a person's nose in this alleged violent hatred of her person is not the way to accomplish this.

The fact is, Pretty Lady thinks that this whole business about 'men hating women' is vastly overblown. There are, she grants you, a few men hither and yon who project the damage within their personal psyches onto anything female in their general vicinity, but they are grossly outnumbered by the perfectly decent ones who think that most women are rather nice.

Moreover, society in general persists in conflating modes of arousal with actual emotion, no matter how often experience indicates that the two are largely unrelated, particularly in the male psyche. As pointless as it is to attempt to legislate emotion, it is even more pointles to attempt to control the part of the human psyche which hasn't yet achieved the level of sophistication required to produce emotions. Fantasy, which is sharply delineated as such, strikes her as an eminently responsible way of managing the lizard-brain in all of us.


Anonymous said...

"Now, what leapt right out at Pretty Lady was--what kind of misogynistic sadist gives a three-hour workshop on violent pornography to a group of battered women?"

Possibly an abusive political activist?


Doom said...

Sorry about my last post. Usually I do not drink like that, nor react like that. I think diabetes, and the thirst that accompanies it, along with temporary insanity from the mix allowed such rudeness.


Oh, no, fantasies, even sometimes felt hate toward women, from a very staunch individual, never equates to actual hate let alone rape or brutality. My felt hate toward women as a group, is not unlike my felt hate for other groups, or even myself. A reaction to frustration, often a frustration about the realities that actually really need to be for the world to function. Yet, that felt hate is never quite real and is considered a personal problem. I would guess that lizard brain part fits here. When I am out of faith to blindly do, and yet I must, then I can find a way to cope, without betraying reality. It could happen. :)

One of the starkest feminists I know, who lives to hate what I think, I think, feels quite safe with me, saying anything her putrid feminist leftist mind can think up. Though, I will defend if I feel invaded (invaded and defending in a intellectual manner). She knows I would not hurt her, physically or even psychically (though she has no doubts about my actual capacity, she knows I have constraints, which I think actually bugs her (damned masochists!)). I will attack her ideas, and the jerks that plant them in simple, diseased, or weakened minds such as hers, but I will not attack her. As a fact, if she just quietly does her thing, I have supported her efforts simply to affirm her, if also holding my nose (out of her knowledge, so as not to ruin her thing). I know some of these differences are natural and so I can let go (and let God).

Yes, I think you are correct. This man sounds like a typical passive aggressive liberal male, hurting damaged women in his power, just for the fun of it. Talk about sick fantasies, what was he doing? Who allowed him this power? Did he have a cigarette afterward?