Friday, April 06, 2007

Conflict Avoidance 101

Well, Pretty Lady knew more than she thought she did:

Cops might want to put down the billy club and forget about psychology, new research suggests. An analysis of the TV show “COPS” reveals that the best way for police to calm down hysterical citizens is to look them straight in the eyes...police rely on a steady gaze to calm individuals in many situations, including getting them to cooperate during questioning and arrests, and keeping them from interfering with emergency workers.
Pretty Lady figured that one out by accident, while lunching in a Very Bad Neighborhood one afternoon. She had been reading some uplifting thing or other, and was feeling sanguine about life, and all her brothers and sisters in it.

Suddenly, an enraged and distraught individual became belligerant toward the girl behind the lunch counter. The girl, frightened, picked up a broom and brandished it. An Ugly Scene looked to be on the brink of playing out.

Pretty Lady stood up and regarded the enraged woman. The woman declared, "Whatcha gonna do? Ya gonna hit me?"

Pretty Lady replied, "I'm not going to do anything," in a friendly manner. The woman mumbled something unintelligible and wandered away. Pretty Lady resumed her lunch, and pleasant daydreams.

A few moments later, a confused and stinking older man stumbled in, agitated and shouting. Pretty Lady looked him in the eye and smiled. He relaxed, quieted down, and left.

Pretty Lady has often thought that it is not so much the eye contact specifically, which appears to have this effect; it is the recognition. In effect, her demeanor is saying, "Hey! There you are!"

This is, she feels, often the only thing any of us require.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

well, you seem to be the heroine of every situation, don't you pretty girl?

prettylady said...

That is my nature, darling. And that is Lady to you.

Judge Well Ye Wolves said...

I believe that being regarded by those eyes containing a very large amount of blue may also have something to do with it, as well as showing the calm spirit contained within. The eye contact is the recognition.

thimscool said...

Dayaam!

k said...

Anonymous, surely if you think about it for a minute, you'll understand that blog writers do tap into their personal experiences to elucidate the topics they're writing about.

Duh.

Perhaps it's the very lack of personal recognition for yourself which inspired you to be that exemplar of the icky childish self-laudatory commenter called a troll?

mitzibel said...

Yeah, anonymous, if you want to read someone confessing to being the idiot asshat in every situation, head over to my blog. Pretty Lady *is* a heroine, over here.

Granny J said...

Sometimes the elderly ladies at the complex where my very hale but antique mom lives forget who they are. It really makes their day if someone smiles, says hello and speaks their names.... and it's a good deed that doesn't cost a penny!

k said...

Yes, granny j. You recognize their existence.

I used to visit my grandma in her place as much as I could. I miss that. I miss that recognition, seeing their faces when I looked at them and smiled.

The Aardvark said...

Rather like raising kids.
You've seen the tableau in the local market, harried mother with waif in tow. Child is tugging at Mommy's skirt, as Mommy discusses the latest People coup with a friend:
Mommy...
Mommy...
Mommmy...
Mommmmmyyy...

The child continues in this vein until Mommy blows a gasket.
We discovered that looking at Child, speaking, and acknowledging Child's existence worked wonders.

We all crave to be acknowledged.