Sunday, March 18, 2007

Report on St. Patrick's Day Pub Crawl

Note to managerial and door staff of the Living Room Lounge, on 23rd St. and 5th Ave., Brooklyn:

It is excrutiatingly bad manners, as well as execrable business tactics, to compete with one's own customers for the use of the pool table, particularly when one is so drunk that one cannot remember whether one is sinking stripes, or solids. It only adds insult to injury when a member of the managerial staff orders the customer to 'rack up,' then disappears for many many minutes, only to return with the injured remark, 'it was my break, you know.' The final atrocity is when the managerial staff is monopolizing the pool table at the same time as the darling adorable bartender is so harried, working a large crowd without backup, that he is inadvertantly shortchanging friendly ladies at the bar.

You might be interested to know that this is the point when darling adorable bartenders, who shall remain nameless, start giving away free drinks in restitution.

Also, it is simply wrong to serve Guiness in plastic cups. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Note to the DJ at the Kitchenbar, on 6th Ave. and 20th:

There would have been twice as many people rocking out to your awesome tunes if you had reduced the volume by half. Just because the tunes are awesome, does not mean that your clientele do not enjoy one another's conversation, as well.

Note to the bluegrass band, at that place next door to the Kitchenbar:

Well played, my dears. A little more vim in your vocals would not come amiss, however.


Anonymous said...

St. Patrick's day is one of the High Holy Days in the Clan Crom. We do not go for the frippery of ugly kelly green hats, nor streamers with leprechauns, or any Lucky Charms bullshit.

In true Irish fashion, we drank far too much Bushmills and sang off-color shanties that made the young lasses blush and the boys roar with laughter. We talked politics and guns, and solved the world's problems over amber liquid with logic that world leaders could never hope to fathom. We ate shepherd's pie and smoked our pipes and lied about our conquests with women. There were a couple of almost fistfights that were stopped before they got started, and a few of the lads fell in love with the lovelies in attendance.

My wonderful Da told me when I was wee that God invented whiskey to insure that the Irish did not rule the world, and truer words haven't been spoken since.

Anonymous said...

What do the Croms put in their shepherd's pie?

I have become curious about regional shepherd's pie variations.


Anonymous said...


The Texas-based Clan Crom uses a mixture of lamb and beef for the meat, and garlic, peas, onions and carrots. Unlike some other variations I have tasted in other Houses, we never add corn or beans.

In addition, for the potato layering we do not skin the potatoes, instead preferring what we call "dirty" mashed potatoes for the top mash, and use a colby-jack blend for the upper cheese crust. We serve it with orange and spice honeyed iced tea to drink, and endless jars of Guinness for dessert.