Sunday, March 11, 2007

Enlightenment! -or- August Explains the Male Mind to a Benighted Pretty Lady

August elaborates upon the Missing Logical Link:

You mentioned a proposition.
You mentioned saying something extraordinary.

Now there has to be an assumption somewhere between the two, and I figure that assumption is in a male brain.

That particular male has likely perceived the extraordinary as the competitive, and is hoping such competitiveness will translate into some friendly competition in the bedroom.
...

As for myself, my assumptions in similar situations are simple: loyalty and competition work in opposition to each other. I simply disengage. I have learned enough lessons the hard way.
Ah. So that's it.

Let us set aside all the sardonic commentary--indeed the floods of rhetorical self-indulgence, illustrated with many florid anecdotes, that sprang to Pretty Lady's fevered brain after she was finally able to wrap her hopelessly feminine mind around the above logical sequence. Let us consider this as read. Let us, merely, ask this theoretical male a theoretical question.

Are you familiar with the concept of a team? As in those sports thingies? Group of persons working together toward a Common Goal, such as to win the Super Bowl, or something else equally random and trivial?

Pretty Lady pauses, for the man to bring this undoubtedly familiar concept to mind, and hold it there.

Now. Think hard. Suppose you were a coach, auditioning players for a team. Would you require these potential players to prove their competence, by handling the ball or puck or stick or whatever, with finesse, logic and aplomb? Or would you require them to prove their loyalty, by fumbling around and dropping it all over the place, so as not to infringe upon the other players' inherent superiority?

Hmm?

Now, I ask you, theoretical man, to stretch a paradigm. Imagine, that in the mind of Woman, relationships are roughly equivalent to teams. This putative Woman regards a relationship as an entity in which two individuals work together to achieve a set of Common Goals, such as building a home, raising children, establishing a system of mutual nurturance, companionship and spiritual, emotional and intellectual growth.

Now, imagine that this hapless Woman, with this goal in mind, proceeds to audition for a place on this Relationship Team by proving her competence. Her method includes displaying perspicacity, humor, kindness, flexibility, wit, resourcefulness, and a basic ability to hold up her end of the stick, in both practical and aesthetic contexts.

And the Man promptly responds by thinking, "Who does this Woman think she is, being all clever and competent like that? I'll take that bitch down a peg. She's begging for it." So he treats this potential team member as a Woman--that is, as an exotic sort of prostitute--grinds her into the dirt, abandons her, and goes off in search of a ball-dropper to put under contract.

Are you, theoretical Man, perhaps getting a hint of the sort of frustrations and miscommunications that can arise, due to this mutual conflict of assumed paradigms, yet?

While you are chewing on this idea, Pretty Lady will pose some alternatives to the notion that an intelligent woman, making a humorous, perceptive, or witty remark, is attempting to emasculate a man by Competing with him. The possibility exists that her motive in making such a remark might be:
1) To express what's on her mind, in the hopes of kindling an answering spark of resonance in his.

2) To defuse a tense situation with humor.

3) To introduce an alternate perspective for mutual consideration.

4) To pre-empt being patronized, which can be mildly annoying, when a gentleman assumes that no sweet little blue-eyed blonde lady could possibly be able to process ideas or information beyond the first-grade level.

(Incidentally, a lady who engages in such patronage pre-emption may also be endeavoring to spare the man the humiliation that inevitably occurs, when she is finally forced to confess to having a Ph.D. in engineering.)

5) To engage his attention in a flirtatious way, for the purposes of mutual enjoyment.

6) To let her Freak Flag fly high, in the hopes of attracting someone who likes that sort of thing.

7) Just to express the sheer joy of being alive.
Now, it is certainly possible that the lady is a ball-busting bitch who wishes to see all men castrated and ground down under her dominating and vindictive heel. Such bitches are occasionally born. However, it is Pretty Lady's private suspicion that such bitches are also made, after a well-meaning lady has been given the competitive-whore treatment a couple of dozen times.

In closing, Pretty Lady would like to re-iterate the statement that loyalty has nothing, nothing, nothing whatsoever to do with competence. Loyalty is an aspect of character, which in all humans is divorced from other characteristics such as wit, intelligence, creativity and the like. You may not assess a woman's character in the course of a brief conversation, however witty or bovine this conversation may be. You can only assess it by interacting with her over a period of time, and observing her actions.

Of course, if you drive her away by vulgarly insulting her with a lewd proposition, the first time she dares to say something clever, your storehouse of Erroneous Assumptions will remain wholly intact. And you will, incidentally, end up with a very dull wife.

42 comments:

August said...

Well, how does that help you? I mean besides the fleeting feeling of superiority.

I chose to empower myself. This meant making radical changes to the way I behave and the way I think. I do not know for sure if I will be successful, but I feel better because I know I am no longer shooting myself in the foot.

I may marry a wife that you would consider boring. But, since I take responsibility for boredom in my life, I will not endanger my relationship because of boredom.

You have passed several insults my way; I meant none, and I can't see where I have given you any. Is there any room in the team analogy for conversation?
Is this normally how you treat men who try to answer your questions?

The insults are competitive, not competent. They certainly aren't extraordinary. And they don't change a single thing in your life or in mine.

starbuck said...

PL... Ummm.. I know this wasn't your point.. and ummm.. Welll..

Are you a doctor in engineering?!?! (getting excited)

That would be a really weird dream of mine coming true. A lady friend I could ask an engineering question...

Please... be one?!

Chris Rywalt said...

All right, everybody calm down.

I went back and checked August's original statement, the one which started all this. And what he asked you, Pretty Lady, was, "Are you being extraordinary, or are you being competitive?"

Which I think is a valid question. And I think if your motives for showing off your wit, for example, are to answer the question, "Is this man good enough for my team?" the answer is that you are, in fact, being competitive. You want this man to measure up to you. You're setting a pace and asking him to keep up.

What happened from there is Pretty Lady took her definition of the Competitive Woman and ran with it. Meanwhile August was left to try to wrestle the conversation back to his turf, at which he failed miserably, saying some seriously dumb things in the process.

The underlying argument is, I think, is it appropriate for a woman to "test" a man this way? And I think it is. August wants a woman who won't necessarily test him this way, but certainly she'll be testing him in some way. We all do that when looking for a mate. August apparently wants a woman who is intellectually meek and willing to let him lead in certain ways. Maybe his wife will weigh his checkbook, or delight in his chest hair, or enjoy that he's shorter than she is. Maybe she'll just like how he smells. Who knows?

Pretty Lady wants a man who is strong enough to be weak, who is smart enough to keep her interested, who is sensitive enough to let her be who she is, who can be who he is at the same time.

Seems silly to be having this argument. Might as well argue over whether blondes have more fun. (They do -- my wife is blonde and she has a lot of fun, mostly at my expense.)

Chris Rywalt said...

Starbuck, if anyone around here was likely to know a woman with an engineering PhD, it'd be me, since I went to engineering school and married me one of the co-eds there. And I don't know one woman who went that far, aside from a couple of the grad students who taught us. The one I can remember was Chinese.

My wife has a masters but it's in Information Systems, not strictly an engineering degree. Actually, I know a number of women with masters of one kind or another. My brother-in-law's wife was a chemical engineering undergrad, but she just got her MBA from NYU.

I think what I'm saying is, doctorate level females in engineering are extremely, extremely rare.

Bobert said...

"when a gentleman assumes that no sweet little blue-eyed blonde lady could possibly be able to process ideas or information beyond the first-grade level."

I don't think gentlemen assume that. I think gentlemen assume that blue-eyed ladies are blue-eyed because they were born that way, and are blondes because they like to be blondes(particularily if their roots are not)

At least in my world... but then my wife says I have always been hopelessly naive.

prettylady said...

You're setting a pace and asking him to keep up.

Yes, exactly. If the man construes this as 'undermining' him in some way--in other words, he is incapable of keeping up and resents this fact--he is better off not hanging out with me.

is it appropriate for a woman to "test" a man this way? And I think it is.

Thank you, Chris. Otherwise we just sit there and politely tolerate our way into seriously miserable relationships, all because we don't dare let our real personalities show, for fear of offending the man's fragile ego.

Pretty Lady wants a man who is strong enough to be weak, who is smart enough to keep her interested, who is sensitive enough to let her be who she is, who can be who he is at the same time.

Exactly. And vice-versa. Pretty Lady calls this situation 'mutually compatible intimacy and trust.'

And Starbuck, although I DO have a very dear female friend with a Ph.D. in engineering (actually, maybe two! I am not sure of V.'s actual degree), they are both already most happily married. So sorry to disappoint you once again.

prettylady said...

I meant none, and I can't see where I have given you any.

Oh, except for implying that intelligent women are, by nature, disloyal, promiscuous, and undesirable as wives and mothers, you were perfectly civil.

Is there any room in the team analogy for conversation?

Conversation is the WHOLE POINT. Good conversation is, in Pretty Lady's opinion, essential to living a quality life, and a top priority in a long-term relationship. That is why she 'tests' men for their conversational skills before considering them as potential mates.

And, getting back to the original question, 'Are you being extraordinary or are you being competitive?' with Chris's milder definition of the word 'competitive,' is there any reason that these concepts are mutually exclusive? Extraordinary women want extraordinary men; they also, and simultaneously, want to be treated well by these same extraordinary men.

Which would be extraordinary, indeed.

Crom said...

I cannot help but wonder if many of you occupy a social strata that I am entirely unacquainted with. I have many miles on this frame, and have seen much in my life. That said, I have never in my life asked a woman any of the things you outlined in your post, PL. Never. I have propostioned women, certainly - but never with a crude suggestion or bluntly asked for what you call "professional-grade sex" from anyone. Any propositioning done by me has always been courteous, although I was often roguishly polite to make it clear to the lady in question that I am not suggesting anything but fun - and I am always gracious when turned down. I have never sulked when a woman wouldn't come home with me, if she wasn't interested then it wouldn't have been fun. I infinitely prefer enthusiasm over resigned capitulation.

PL, I have a theory which might clarify something you already know. I developed it over a course of a few long relationships, where I truly fell in love with the women and considered marrying a few of them. The theory is this: Unless you are both within 10-15 IQ points you will not be happy together. The higher one will be frustrated at the stupid things that amuse the lower, and the lower will be frustrated at the fascination the higher has for unintelligible concepts. This leads to arguments, and the arguments eventually lead to endings. Once during a quarrel with a cherished girlfriend she stupidly told me that she understood perhaps 50% of the things that I talked about, and I realized in that instant that she was right. I had allowed my emotion for her to cloud my vision to the fact that she was not very bright. Faced with the prospect of spending my life with a woman who never would understand half of anything I told her, I walked.

It broke my heart to do so, but it saved me more heartache in the long run. Ashley Wilkes reminds us that like must marry like or there will be no happiness. Granted, it may be difficult to find a fella that matches your IQ and can pull your heart to him, but like George says, you gotta have faith.

Terrymum said...

I agree with my ersatz parental unit, Crom. Having finally met and married a man who is my intellecutual equal (or close enough) I cannot tell you how much more joy we give each other. For my birthday, we made time alone and sat and TALKED for 2 straight hours. This after being together 8 years. It is pure joy to have a mate who not only can think, but likes to do so with his mate! We are neither of us boring people and we have low thresholds for boredom. Let the boring people mate and marry each other. That is not to say we eschew comfort and stablility. Au Contraire. But you can have an interesting and lively conversation with someone to whom you are forever committed. In fact, it's much more fun when you know that the person holding your interest or hanging on your every word will be around in the decades to come. What a comforting relationship it is among intellecutal equals!

Stop dating men who can't keep up with your mind my dear. Make that a priority, just as Crom advises you!

Test them (as they test you) for the traits you hold most dear. Do it early enough that you don't waste too much time, thus getting attached to them and making it harder to break off later on.

prettylady said...

Crom and Terrymum, you are exactly right. What I was trying to express, in this series of increasingly snarly posts (when I reread them I was shocked at my own tone) was that, in attempting to send the signal 'high IQ here, do not apply if below this level', I have repeatedly and inadvertantly triggered a flood of highly inappropriate comments and behavior in response, and I was looking for some insight as to why this might be so.

A lot of this sort of thing happens on the Internet; things people would never say in person get typed out and sent without a moment's consideration. But this gives me a window into what people are really thinking, and it is disturbing.

I think, that in the society we live in, high intelligence is almost as taboo a topic as social class. We're supposed to pretend we're all basically equal. Most Internet dating sites do not even have a method of filtering on the basis of intelligence--it's all 'what do you like to do, what are your beliefs, what kind of music do you listen to,' and other things that are mostly irrelevant in determining true compatibility.

So, my two ersatz parental units, I don't date men who can't keep up with my mind. Which means there are long, long dry spells in my dating life. I can cope with that just fine. But I very much do not appreciate the nasty, suggestive and downright pejorative speculations from others as to why this might be so. Even though all other qualities may vary, basic courtesy is attainable by all.

starbuck said...

And Starbuck, although I DO have a very dear female friend with a Ph.D. in engineering (actually, maybe two! I am not sure of V.'s actual degree), they are both already most happily married. So sorry to disappoint you once again.




no, no.. you misunderstand. I have been trying for 20+ years to make a lady friend.. not wife, not lover, not even a dater. LADY FRIEND.. Who was an engineer... I have yet to meet her. I have met a few that were engineers, but they were so bad at it that they became managers. So I refuse to include them.

(sigh) I will keep looking.

starbuck said...

years to meet a lady friend..


sorry, I can't build ladies..

Crom said...

Ersatz parental unit? I have been called many things in my life, but this forum is the first place I have ever been yclept in this manner.

I suppose I should thank Terrymum, first for agreeing with me and secondly for casting me in this heretofore unconsidered role. I do hope that this new Father Figure** guise will finally reassure Chris that I will not abscond with his Precious, after all.

**Father Figure, and Faith. Odd this confluence of George Michael references today - I may have to dig out through my old cassette tapes to get the song out of my head now.

Chris Rywalt said...

Crom sez:
...finally reassure Chris that I will not abscond with his Precious, after all.

Feel free to abscond if you want. I have no attachments.

Well, a few. I need Internet service and a decent stereo. But attachments to people? Nah.

And of course I need that stereo to blare George Michael! "I will be your father figure/Put your tiny hand in mine"!

prettylady said...

I do hope that this new Father Figure** guise will finally reassure Chris that I will not abscond with his Precious, after all.

Oh, it's so charming when the boys can't recognize when they're being teased. Makes me feel so warm and fuzzy and Right At Home, since in my ordinary life, I am the original Credulous Dupe.

But I wasn't aware that you were acquainted with Dawn, Chris's wife. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting the lady myself, but I am absolutely positive she is a treasure beyond price.

prettylady said...

Funny, the only George Michael song that ever goes through my head is the one we used to do sit-ups to, in aerobics class. ...'I won't bore you with the details baby/I don't even want to waste your time/Let's just say that maybe/You could help to ease my mind...I ain't Mr. Right...'

Kind of a miserable song, really.

Crom said...

Oh, it's so charming when the locals can't recognize they are being teased... Heh.

And I was not referring to Chris's lovely and charming wife, for how could a rough beast such as myself ever slouch my way into her heart when it is already full of Chris? I would not presume to attempt to psychoanalyze the relationship between Pretty Lady and CR, for it is fraught with odd tensions here in this textual format. Chris feels free to insult you casually, (see the recent post regarding cats) and yet he clearly seems to resent other males penetrating your pink-edged niche here at Blogger.

Sadly, humor does not translate well in text-only and I was waxing smartasstic as I am wont to do, betimes. I don't think that Chris hateses us, Precious, merely wishes that we would pour ourselves a frosty mug of shut the fuck up.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Sorry for joining late but I just needed to add my $0.02 on a couple of things:

- Yes, men are simple souls. It's what helps us cut to the chase and not prattle on endlessly. It's not the special sauce in the idiot sandwich as PL seems to inply. It's condescending at best; insulting at worst.

- PL, if you're going to use a sports metaphor get it right. Loyalty and competence are not mutually exclusive, in sports or in life.

prettylady said...

Chris feels free to insult you casually, (see the recent post regarding cats) and yet he clearly seems to resent other males penetrating your pink-edged niche here at Blogger.

Isn't it obvious? Either he's my best friend or my little brother. Or maybe my BIG brother. I always wanted one of those.

Loyalty and competence are not mutually exclusive, in sports or in life.

Er, DURRRRRRR. That was the point that Pretty Lady was, in fact, making. It was the gentleman who appeared to believe otherwise.

Chris Rywalt said...

Crom and PL say:
...yet he clearly seems to resent other males penetrating your pink-edged niche here at Blogger.

Isn't it obvious? Either he's my best friend or my little brother. Or maybe my BIG brother. I always wanted one of those.

Aiyargh.

I don't resent other males penetrating Pink Lady's niche. In fact I think PL needs some more penetration lest her niche get dusty.

And little brother? BIG brother? Ye gods. Annoying pain in the ass, maybe, but brother, no. I'm not even a decent brother to my actual sister.

Could it just be possible I agree with Pretty Lady? It's like this: I'm more from one side of Pretty Lady's world; you (Crom) and you (Starbuck) and some others here are from the other side, where she gets down in the conservative mud with the holy rollin' Christians and Republicans and Harley-ridin' barflies. So I tend to automatically assume she is right-thinking and you are knuckle-dragging throwbacks.

I'm not saying I'm correct in this assumption. Only it's my starting point.

starbuck said...

Well, I do have long arms and I can never figure out why my knuckles are always sore.

Makes it easier to grab stuff on the top shelf and to smack smartasses in the head before they can duck back far enough.

Oh, PL, you never truely answered my question. Are you a Ph.D. In Engineering?

prettylady said...

Are you a Ph.D. In Engineering?

No. Perish the thought. And my friend who IS, was railroaded into it by an overly-ambitious set of progenitors. She would much rather have been a dancer.

It is true, the male mind is far better suited for engineering.

Chris, it seems as though I have spent my entire adult life being either the Token Conservative or the Token Left-Wing Radical or simply That Crazy Chick. There is nothing either political or right-thinking about me, I am afraid.

Chris Rywalt said...

I definitely think That Crazy Chick covers it perfectly, actually, regardless of who you're hanging out with. Except that tampon chucker, who is really, really nuts.

starbuck said...

I think women could be good engineers, it is just that I haven't met one yet. To a womans defense, I have met a few great men engineers and a herd of lousy ones. I have no idea where I fall into the ranking.

Umm.. tampon chucker? Yes, that was a little over the top, no?

As for PL being the crazy chick... I doubt it. I have met crazy chicks before. They can be scary. You know the kind that will pull in front of you when they were trying to turn left and you were going straight, flip you the finger and yell obscenities. And then you yell back telling them they forgot their turn signal.

They have the enough gall to get even madder and peel out to prove their superiority (i think).

Naw.. PL is too darn nice and polite to be a crazy chick.

Anonymous said...

this starbuck character is a moron. why do you all take the bait and talk with him? it just encourages him.

Chris Rywalt said...

Starbuck sez:
You know the kind that will pull in front of you when they were trying to turn left and you were going straight, flip you the finger and yell obscenities.

Come to think of it, the only car accident my wife's ever been in she was doing just that, turning left in front of someone going straight. No fingers or obscenities, though.

I can't pick on her, though. My good friend Dave likes to sing to me to the tune of Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable": "Uninsurable/That's what you are/Uninsurable/Can't drive a car...."

prettylady said...

I beg your pardon, Anon? Pretty Lady insists upon a certain standard of courtesy in her home, and upon this particular thread, at least, YOU are the only one who has failed to live up to it.

Anonymous said...

In addition to being as intelligent, there needs to be some commonality in what KIND of intelligence. For someone who is an entirely logical and concrete thinker someone who is almost exclusively an artistic and emotive thinker can be incomprehensible. And the emotive thinker's communications will frequently be totally missed by the concrete thinker, since they consist largely of non-concrete concepts and non-explicit clues.

Crom said...

Anon,

I would disagree with your contention that concrete thinkers and emotive thinkers cannot connect.

For example, let us use our gracious hostess as an example. As Chris pointed out earlier, she moves in the circle of the emotives and the artistes while simultaneously connecting with the concrete-thinking knuckledraggers and holy rollers with equal ease and aplomb.

Provided that the concrete thinker understands what he is dealing with, there is no difficulty understanding the emotionals, they merely appear illogical, but not much of an enigma. On the flip-side the emotionals can get along with the concrete thinkers by remembering that they do not react emotionally and that they need to have non-linear concepts illustrated in a manner which they can understand, since they rarely will have the emotive palate to understand the subtle shades of feelings.

I certainly fall into the holy rolling, knuckle-dragging, concrete-thinking crowd (sorry but I do not own a Harley or frequent bars, all apologies to Chris) and I certainly am having no difficulty understanding my artistic blogmates.

Part of the reason is that we are talking higher IQ's, whereas your theory may be much firmer down at the average level, similar to the difference between an 18-year old dating a 30-year old vs. a 55-year old dating a 43-year old. Maturity makes a difference, and in this case, intelligence does as well.

k said...

Looks to me like Pretty Lady has that very unusual strength in both intellectual approaches.

In spades.

Not to mention, emotive thinking is not always all that intelligent. For some, it's used as an excuse, an attempt to cover up their lack of true logic and concrete analytical skills.

and Lo! Artspeak is born...

Moron / Stupid (Starnuck) said...

Anonymous said...
this starbuck character is a moron. why do you all take the bait and talk with him? it just encourages him.


Really? I am stupid? Wow.. Now I have to go and refigure out my life. And now start living a stupid life. hmmmm, How shall I start?

I know! I will start posting as Anonamous! Yeah! Then I will go around and insult people. Then I will sit back and feel supioror(sp!) and just know deep in my heart that God and man must accept me. All because I can insult people.

PL, would you do the honors and ban me? I am stupid and anonomous. And then give me a tongue thrashing that I throughly deserve!

(ahem) sorry PL, I was getting excited.

Now that I know I am a moron, I will quit being a engineer and concentraite on being a leech off the system. Hmm.. I will need to get some lady pregnant and we can get welfare!


(look around)..
ok, that was a bit over the top I will stop now.

starbuck said...

For example, let us use our gracious hostess as an example. As Chris pointed out earlier, she moves in the circle of the emotives and the artistes while simultaneously connecting with the concrete-thinking knuckledraggers and holy rollers with equal ease and aplomb.


You forgot to mention that she is able to communicate with the stupid(starbuck). He is an idiot don't you know.

Hey! Should I feel bad that someone called me a moron? I don't know why, but I don't.
When I was young, insults were fighting words. Now these days, you can call me stupid, moron, idiot, ugly, dumbshit.. how come it doesn't get me mad anymore?

And don't say maturity... I am not a mature person. My ex-wife can attest to that one. So can PL for that matter.. and Crom.. and Chris.

Chris Rywalt said...

I just want to note that I do not think that knuckle-dragging and concrete thinking go together. Knuckle-draggers don't think, which is kind of the point of the sobriquet.

My wife is a concrete thinker. Give her a column of numbers to be added up and she'll have it in no time. She's always the one to pass the check to if you need to figure out how much tip to leave and how to split it between 3 couples and an extra person.

Back when we were in college we were both the same major so we took almost all the same classes. She had a hell of a time in Discrete Math, which was all about proofs. Problems would be along the lines of "Prove foo is an integer between..." and solutions usually were of the form "Let x be a number from 1 to 100..." or whatever. My wife could never understand how we solved these. "Where do you get x?" she'd cry. "This is math, you can't just make stuff up!" Drove her crazy.

On the other hand, in both Probability and Statistics she was awe-inspiringly fantastic. She could grasp incredibly complex equations perfectly, because all the numbers were right there. I had a fair bit of trouble in that class because none of it made sense to me and I'd always leave stuff out or forget the equations.

And then there was the one late night study session where we all got so punchy my wife was actually solving triple integrals in her head. She'd look at one and say, "Oh, that comes out to 7." And the rest of us would spend ten or fifteen minutes working it out to find she was right.

That's concrete thinking for you.

Terrymum said...

Wow, I take time to work and look what happens!!! My darling gets attacked.

Yes, talking about "My IQ is higher then yours" will not endear you to folks, even those who may have or exceed your #. And yes, we all know plenty of educated idiots or genuises who cannot civilly carry on a conversation. So there are different types of intelligence.

PL and Crom and I all know the type we are speaking about. It's hard to define, harder to find, but easily spotted when it finally presents.

Take my dear husband and myself. He is my mental match and then some. However, he is far younger, a different race, different faith, and without a college degree.

Lucky for the both of us, we did not let those difference distract us (too much) from the fact that our minds mesh (and as long as we're being candid, our souls and bodies aren't unhappy with the mating either).

We do NOT agree on every topic; far from it! But we agree upon basics (such as the importance of loyalty, respect, and honesty) and keep up with the speed at which our words and thoughts race. When we first met we were sometimes astounded at how often we could finish each other's sentences. It no longer suprises us, and in fact we count upon it.

So, it not the amount of school, the IQ#, the drift of the mind, or even common interests or agreed upon credos of which I was speaking. It was to say that a match and mesh of mental acuity is of great importance if one places any value upon being able to grasp and understand the concepts most important to ones beloved.

Communication of all kinds is the key. Words are only one way to communicate. But they count.

So, do not pay attention to the many who do not "get you" PL. There are those who do and will. Just keep your eyes and heart and mind open to life. And do not let the nay sayers drag you down to their level. They are sad and sordid. You are not.

Terrymum said...

PS - Chris - I think I would love your wife!! I am what they call "whole brained" - meaning I have no dominate leanings. I did very well in science/math classes AND in the arts and verbal skills. It makes for some fun times. People do not expect someone with big breasts and green cat eyes to figure equations in their heads faster then some people can write them out! LOL.

prettylady said...

Starbuck, honey, I am more than beginning to suspect that you have some masochistic tendencies.

Crom, thank you, you got there first. A slight difference in thinking styles, between two people who communicate well, can increase the level of mutual interest; you're each being shown a different perspective, and not encroaching on one another's turf. Which, when we look at how this conversation got started, would appear to be a GOOD thing.

starbuck said...

Starbuck, honey, I am more than beginning to suspect that you have some masochistic tendencies.


No, not really. I am not into pain.
I do however love it when someone insults me. Especially in a silly way. I like to show them I can insult myself better then they can. And then do it.

I don't think lowly of myself. but then I don't think highly of myself either. Somewhere in the middle I always thought was ok...

Crom said...

"Knuckle-draggers don't think, which is kind of the point of the sobriquet.

*grunts unintelligibly, followed by a series of hoots and a befanged, toothy grin*

When I was fighting semi-professionally I had a 74 inch reach... My sleeve length is 37/38 depending on the cut of the shirt.

Starbuck. Stop. Think positive, dude. I am not one much for hippie mantras but flying your emo flag does not pull the chicks. Of course, that might not be your motivation. If you want abuse, find a local boxing club, glove up and get in the ring. Those fellas will be happy to oblige you, and the best part is that there will be no hard feelings, and you get a kickass workout at the same time.

Win win!

Anonymous said...

"When I was young, insults were fighting words. Now these days, you can call me stupid, moron, idiot, ugly, dumbshit.. how come it doesn't get me mad anymore?"

Just don't ask him to buy a box of tampons.

Chris Rywalt said...

Crom sez:
When I was fighting semi-professionally I had a 74 inch reach...

Did you ever get to fight James J. Braddock?

Crom said...

"Did you ever get to fight James J. Braddock?"


You mean when he was an up and coming fighter in Jersey back in '25 and '26?

Nah, I was only 14 at the time. Also, Braddock was a light heavyweight, I always fought in the heavyweight category.

Chris Rywalt said...

Only 14. Good one.