Sunday, April 23, 2006

Ruthless scrutiny

Someone Pretty Lady had never heard of until yesterday has kindly taken it upon himself to decide what is wrong with her:

Pretty Lady finds herself in a quandary not necessarily of her own making.

There is an old saying that if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.

What seems to be missing in her equation is an element of intuition. Of course, things would go so much more smoothly for her (and, indeed, all women) if only she could spot the "fractured psyche" before being taken in by the "enormously high intelligence, (and) a habit of thinking outside the box".

Mercifully, we learned long ago to spot the more egregious flaws in the psyches of those women with whom we have come in contact.

Pretty Lady is excessively humbled. That some random stranger would have figured it all out, just like that! My, my. No intuition! That's her problem. She'll get on top of that one right away.

Of course, Pretty Lady is just being disingenuous. Lack of intuition has never been her problem. Rather, she suffers from an excess of intuition, coupled with an overloaded sideboard of creative empathy. It is no accident that she seeks out those souls with dramatically damaged psyches; it is merely an excess of misplaced spiritual generosity, as well as a certain amount of hubris, which has led her to immolate her heart upon the altar of the Tortured Genius. It has been a mistake. She freely admits that. However, she cannot honestly say that it was one she regrets making.

Because, darlings, we are all broken. If we were whole we would not be living here, hurling curses and remedies every which way but homeward. We would be in a state of Uninterrupted Bliss, which, judging by the website of this self-styled 'master,' is not within shouting distance of where he's hanging. Thus, after measured scrutiny, she respectfully declines to accept his advice.

No, Pretty Lady rejects the notion that flawed persons are, by definition, unlovable, and should be sussed out and ruthlessly avoided, except when one pauses to generously harry them with unsolicited advice. There are different ways to love people; Pretty Lady has a tendency to love unwisely and too well. Recognizing this tendency is the first step toward curbing it. Pretty Lady's habit of ruthless self-scrutiny has finally led her to the obvious, and she is grateful.

Because if a person is to live life with integrity, one must sooner or later look oneself in the mirror and ask, "Tell me. Am I a complete asshole?" Pretty Lady has asked herself this question many times. In days long past, the answer was sometimes "yes." She modified her attitudes accordingly. In latter days, the answer more frequently has been "no, not really. Hubristic, ambitious, idealistic, complicated, unnecessarily confusing, at times. But by and large, this person is someone who works very hard at loving. So, no."

Pretty Lady feels that it is generally much less productive to ask this question of other people, since other people are not within her realm of control. She even declines to suggest that they ask themselves this question. The ones who have the least to fear from the answer have already asked it, and the other ones are beyond her reach.


Master Doh-San said...

That some random stranger would have figured it all out, just like that!

Actually, there's nothing to figure out. That's the Great Cosmic Joke.

Master Doh-San said...


Anonymous said...

Doh-san makes a cheap, but successful, attempt at gaining the Ladies attention. The Ladie responds on her blog. Was it good for you both? It makes one smile on a cold and gray day.

Anonymous said...

I better build my walls faster and throw away the key. You guys went nuts over here.

Anonymous said...

There is a purpose of this, it is no joke. The purpose is to create the self. Dandynonomousssss seems to be on the right track as he/she has already built some of he/she's own walls. Those walls are the self. We create ourselves every second, with every action and with every thought. Life is the only thing capable of this type of creation. It is the grandest of all creations. Infinity exists so there is no creator of the universes, LIFE IS GOD. We should treat it as such.

Duh...Boy do I miss things some times. I went back to read and hit the pink stuff that linked me to the Master. Oh that's what you are refering to.
But to answer Southside, I like the Chicago Gunslinger sound of that name too, I am definitely NOT on the right track but I am certainly on A track. I do believe that we get to "create".
Funny that you should go biblical but I like that stuff too. When we are told we are created in god's image, I take that as the cue to function in the creative realm since that is what god know...a hundred pounds of clay...just a little more sophisticated.

Master Doh-San said...

"a cheap, but successful, attempt"

There is no attempt without intent. No one's attention is of any concern, the point of the original post being only to comment on the passing scene.

The moon does not intend to cast its reflection;
the water has no mind to receive its image.

Master Doh-San said...

So sad, Slayer of Rabbits, that you completely missed the point. Not surprising, though.

Pretty Lady said...

Boys, boys, boys. Simmer down. Little goofballs.

ZTora said...

I awoke this morning and realized I would not be an asshole to day. I'm scheduling it for Tuesday. Why should I pain everyone else on a Monday?

Pretty Lady, keep on loving. Sure you’ll get hurt, but at least you’ll avoid the nihilist trap of only worrying about yourself. If “self” was all important than we would be asexual beings. The reality is we are social creatures that are not islands unto our selves and really do need the interaction of others. So keep loving. However (and you already know this no doubt) choose your actions and expressions of love wisely.

ZTora said...


I probably associate "self" with selfishness because so many people actually are selfish.

Those walls are the self. We create ourselves every second, with every action and with every thought. Life is the only thing capable of this type of creation.

Though I am confused at your use of “self”. Here you seem to be talking about self in the physiological sense.

The self is the entire person, the body and mind.

And here you seem to make an addition of body to the mind? I will assume you meant the later usage and the former was only an example of one aspect of "self".

However, it doesn't change my point. Pretty Lady, shouldn’t become so involved with her self as to not love others. In effect if she did she would lose, as you term it, her "self". If "self" is the culmination of mind and body, experience and history, then it is also depending on other people. For good or for ill we are social creatures that must live and work with other people or "self"s. We live and die by the relationships we form. I figure it would be best to try to form the relationships that might prolong our life in the best circumstance.

Now the real mind screw is which circumstances are best and what do different world views mean by "best"?

ZTora said...

And here is an exampel of how world views may affect what is "best".

I point you dannynonamous submission of god and Slayers rejection of god. Well at least in the way many people think of god. Personally I believe their is an other "self" that is G-d the creator of this world.

If "life" is god. What happens if you are dead? Or do you mean life as the culmination of all creation? IE, the mortal realm is the body and you are but a cell in its function.

Anonymous said...

If you want to be loved, be lovable. - Some quote that applies universally.

Anonymous said...

If you want to be loved, be lovable. - Some quote that applies universally.

Anonymous said...

It's nobler to try to love the unloveable than to try to protect yourself to the point you give up on them. Draining though it can be, sometimes the seemingly unloveable are the ones who end up appreciating you the most.

ZTora said...

Rabbit Slayer -
I can't say for sure, I am not dead yet and I have never spoken with the dead. I talk to them and all they do is decompose. I believe when we die we go back to the blissful nothing we were before we were born. Now I know there are going to be a lot of people that want to debate this. I would love to although I would require proof. If you're going to mention Jesus I will not except this. If you can make him appear and have a chat with me I will change my mind. Thank you.

Just so I have it correct for future reference, you do not believe in Jesus unless you had proof of him physically in front of you? Is this correct?

And can I ask what proof you have of the "blissful nothing" we were born from?

Oh and no I don't think you are an asshole? Then again I have limited dealings with both you and the Pretty Lady so I couldn't say conclusively that you are not. I am sure that you -- as most people -- could be one if you so choose.