Thursday, April 13, 2006


Pretty Lady declares a unilateral moratorium on all things witty, deep, insightful or humorous this week. She is doing her taxes.

The only thing she has discovered so far, after looking coldly and soberly at the amount of money she earned last year, is that there is definitely a God. There is no earthly reason why she should still be alive, and relatively comfortably housed, with heat, clothing, electricity, and a reasonably functional (albeit over 200K on the odometer) automobile. The mysteries of infinite provision are certainly unfathomable.


dlkjdfsa said...

I find the nothing "god" I believe in to be quite a tester of faith. I failed a drug test years ago to work as a baker on an oil rig, a week later one blew up off the cost. I lost the tip of my thumb when it could have been my entire painting hand as I transferred my bicycle mechanics knowledge over to Motorcycle repair techniques. I had a old man pull in front of me while I was traveling 45 miles an hour on my motorcycle. I jumped like a Rabbit flying 35 yards in the air, rolled out of it without a scratch. Had I not jumped I would have lost both legs. I borrowed money from a collector to buy a minivan that I converted into a covert Mobil home/studio and moved from New Orleans a month before the storm, very strange... I also have been able to live a truly rich life on <10K a year for the past 4 years. Every time I start worrying that I'm not going to be able to eat tomorrow I sell a painting, just enough to keep me alive for another few days.

My family says over and over, "Can't you see your one of the chosen people, God is helping you?" But my faith in nothing stays strong... Nope, I'm just really lucky and clever. I must say, I did have a little doubt about NOGOD recently in Provincetown. I had a hundred bucks to my name and a quarter tank of gas. The sun was getting to my eyes and since they're an important element in painting I decided to risk buying a pair of sunglasses. I went into a shop and tried on some cheap glasses. My eyes didn't like them. I broke down and bought a $35 pair. Over 1/3 of my total life savings. Then I got an overwhelming desire to paint the sunset that day. I went to the beach and knocked one out in under an hour. As I was packing up I found a $200 pair of perfect Ray Bans in the sand. They were exactly what I would have bought in the store had money not been an object. I looked up to "heaven" and grinned. I don't know how I still don't believe a supreme being guiding me in life, but I do....

Pretty Lady said...

Darling, you obviously have quite an oppositional personality. I like that in a man. You should go far.

And I hope the Ray Bans are polarized. There's nothing like polarized lenses for eliminating that tense, squinty, strained feeling.

dlkjdfsa said...

They're polarized just like me, I find my head tilting from side to side to see the glare / anti glare. I'm a sucker for conflict. I am also a sucker for perfect peace. I am an oxy moron. I've tried to be able to see things from as wide a perspective as an individual can. I love extremes. High contrast. It can be a little tormenting at times. I am hypercritical of everything. I think it's part of our evolution. Man just couldn't stop naming things which gave us this beautiful thing called language. As our language became more complex we starting giving names to abstract concepts. The more I got interested in language the more I found myself comparing things to try and figure everything out.To do that one needs to be oppositional in ones mind. I debate with my self till I'll silly in the head!

I blame my parents for this wonderfully terrible gift. My parents got divorced when I was very young. I kept bouncing from household to household. My father was a Green Beret in Viet Nam. My mother is a nurse. My father killed people with hate in his eyes. My mother empathized with the wounded. My dad called me a "fag" because I wanted to be an artist and had feelings. My mom said I was the best thing on the planet, that I had no limits and took me to the hair stylist. I take after both of them.