Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Boot Lace Saga

What kind of lady is Pretty Lady, you may ask?

Pretty Lady is the kind of lady who buys a pair of charming German boots because they resemble those of a medieval woodcutter, in a fit of optimistic madness when her business is going well, and then ties knots in the laces as they progressively disintegrate during three years of financial uncertainty and poor receipts. That is the kind of lady she is.

What kind of friends does Pretty Lady have?

Well, she has the kind of friends who notice the knots in her laces, and it drives them crazy, and they secretly plot to get her some new German bootlaces as a surprise Christmas present.

But, the boots being German, the saga ensues.

On 12/22/06, C.R. wrote:
Since you're answering e-mail, tell me -- and it pains me to have to ask this, but it seems there's no way around it -- how long are the laces on those boots of yours?

On 12/22/06, PL wrote:
Really long. And skinny. Longer than you'd think. I can't measure, because I didn't bring them
with me, but they're Trippen boots, and they lace up till well above the ankle. I'd guess about
28 inches, but I could be wrong.

On 12/30/06, CR wrote:
Now that you're back in lovely New York, would you be so kind as to forward me the model,
color, and size of those boots of yours?


This is so darned difficult, surprising people.
On 12/31/06, PL wrote:
Okay, I just measured the boot laces, and shortened with knots they're about 42 inches long. Which means I suppose that I need something around 44-46 inches, really skinny, like spaghetti. They're Trippen, color which I suppose could be called 'oxblood,' sort of brownish red or reddish brown, size 41. Don't know the name of the model, since it's not written on the boot anywhere I can find.
On 1/15/07, CR wrote:
I started by asking the Trippen people, in poor German, what length the laces are on the boot.
This confused poor Anke, who asked me to try English. Then she suggested I order the laces
from Trippen directly, for the low price of about 5.50 euros. Which is around ten American
bucks. As you can see below, the amount of information required to order these laces
kept escalating.

---------- Forwarded message --------
On Wed, 3 Jan 2007, Trippen direkt wrote:

The easiest way to get a pair of replacement laces is to order them directly from us -
I guess you will not get such a pair of laces in any shoe store anyway.

To order a pair of laces please let me have the name of the model, the exact colour of
the shoes as well as size, full address and credit card details - Mastercard or Visa - by
mail of fax - 0049-30-28049359. Alternatively you can also call us from Mo-Fr,
12.00 - 18.00 at 0049-30-53213056 to let us have all necessary data.

The price for a pair of laces is 3 Euro plus 2,50 Euro freight.


Thank you. I can't find the exact color: The boots are an older model, probably of the
Band. Your site lists black and espresso as colors, but these boots are reddish brown,
maybe what your site calls wine or berry. We'd call the color oxblood. They're size 41.

If you can determine the exact color and model from this, I'd appreciate it. Then I
can order the laces.


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 05 Jan 2007 15:02:40 +0100
From: Trippen direkt <info@trippen.com>
To: CR
Subject: Re: Band Schuhen

To send you a pair of laces in the exact colour please either let me
know where you bought them or send me a photo! I guess it is wine
wax/berry sft.

Regards,
Anke

Okay.

(PL receives pair of perfectly wonderful, 45-inch, wine-colored,
non-Trippen bootlaces in mail, and is surprised and overjoyed.)

So now you can communicate with Anke directly and get her photos, location
of purchase, phase of the moon during purchase, zodiac signs of your pets,
maternal grandmother's maiden name, and whatever else
they seem to need.

Good luck. Sorry I couldn't surprise you with the right laces. Next time
mention flowers or plants or a car -- you know, something easy,

4 comments:

Bob said...

Wow. Going barefoot would be much easier!


Even in New York, dog poo and all.

Bob said...

Wow. Going barefoot would be much easier!


Even in New York, dog poo and all.

Bob said...

Oh, goodie...

Haloscan has an echo.

Pageturners said...

Why no pictures of these beauty booties?

I too have just bought Trippens, in a blue-grey, thick calfskin, lacing from toe to above ankle, and perhaps what a squire would wear as she trudged behind her knight leading his palfrey while he rode his destrier. (Of course she's dressed in men's attire to run off and save her sweetheart.)