Wednesday, September 13, 2006

What is sexy, part the second

Bob is in a fit of literalistic pique over Pretty Lady's cavalier dismissal of his query re: the indefinable appeal of Johnny M.:

So....if I literally read what you wrote...

"Understanding" only comes if your female and lesbian?

Could your response be considered as sexist and sexless at the same time?


Hmph. If you must.

Only straight women and gay men, dear Bob, can truly appreciate the poignant, winsome tension that is John Mayer the man, the artist, and the earnest little boy. Straight men are likely to be left coldly unaffected by the ropy, casual masculinity of John Mayer's forearms and hands as he tweedles his instrument; they will entirely miss the sudden gust of psychic pheromones as he casually tosses a glossy dark lock from his forehead. Perhaps an unusually sensitive specimen of straight man might note the odd, unpremeditated way he rolls his eyes back behind lowered lashes as he sings, as though he is channelling the voices of angels; but this same straight man is likely to be repulsed, rather than otherwise, at the manner in which his sensual lips purr against the microphone, as against the skin of a lover.

No, Bob, your average straight man will not even perceive the wryly humorous way he looks askance while performing the wordless, falsetto bridge, communicating his own innocent surprise at the goofiness of the song which has lighted upon him. He will consider that, even if the candid way he meets his audience's eyes upon occasion indicates a sincerity of spirit and an engaging friendliness of character, that this is nothing remarkable. The subtleties of power restrained, power allowing gentleness to shine through, power with the confidence to be vulnerable, lighthearted, playful and whimsical, will mean nothing to this straight man.

The straight man, in other words, thinks that all the girls and gay men are going bonkers over an inconsequential puppy. This is why we besotted straight women generally keep quiet about it. Unless, of course, we are in the privacy of home or car, where we turn up the volume, blithely twirl in circles, and sing along to 'Clarity' until sated and exhausted.


Bob said...

Didn't mean to turn up the flame under your kettle that much PL, but I couldn't let the "straight man just can't understand" thought fly off into the netherlands of the romance novel unhindered.

Straight men do understand. It's just that straight men prefer that their communication and relationships with females be a level or two above the emotional ocean that so many women love to swim around in.

Guys like your "vulnerable, lighthearted, playful and whimsical" performer play to the web of emotional binders women weave around themselves, and he does it intentionally with techniques he has practiced and developed over time by observing the reactions of his target audiences.

Just about everything this kid does has been practiced endlessly. The looks, the hair toss, the arm flares--all that arousing and exciting "unpremeditated" subtle stuff has been intentionaly practiced and experimented with for maximum effect--supposedly offering tantalizing glimpses of the hidden and sensitive inner man, or child, or whatever you want exposed--for the very same reasons that the muscle boys oil up their skin, pose and flex their muscles.

It's really pretty simple. They are all actors, and they are all acting. Shouldn't forget that little bit.

The average "straight" male is not repulsed by this type of practiced and fine-tuned variation of the seduction game...

Amused is more like it.

Pretty Lady said...

Gracious, Bob. As if I had not heard such rants a thousand times before.

True ladies, my dear Bob, are of course very much able to distinguish between fact and fantasy, between actorliness and sincerity, between the practiced gesture and the spontaneous one which is indicative of true personality. Particularly those ladies, like myself, who have known and despised a large number of actors and rock stars, up close and personal.

This is an aesthetic thing. I do not complain when you boys ogle an Angelina Jolie or a Kylie Minogue. Occasionally I even ogle these ladies myself. The difference between male and female forms of ogling, however, is that our ogling is mixed up with a more integral fantasy in which character, personality and intellect play key supporting roles. This is how our minds are made. Appreciate it, or shut up.

Anonymous said...

thinks that all the girls and gay men are going bonkers over an inconsequential puppy

That's true, you've captured my views very well. However, it is his phonyness, as Bob states, that bores me. He's chosen to be a puppy, and therefore he lacks interest... unless I can get a piece of the economic action.

Anonymous said...

EN, you're losing ground on the whole nobility thing... :)

Anonymous said...

Women are more emotional and less cold logic, everyone knows this, and women have a tendency to think this is superior to men.

Men are more cold logic and less emotional, everyone knows this as well, and men have a tendency to think this is superior to women.

Hmmm... Who is right and who is wrong? I have pondered this for most of my life. I have gone back and forth with that answer. I have noticed people argue about this alot and neither "side" gets anywhere. Never a winner, never a loser.

I decided, that the superior sex is neither. They compliment.
Men and women compliment one another. That is one of the reasons why I don't think homosexuality doesn't work well. They don't compliment one another. Too many strengths too many weakness's. I just wish people would stop arguing about it. No one will win.

And for me to argue that men are superior makes me wanna gag. I would always prefer the company of a pretty lady then to a burping farting man. PL, how do you put up with men... yuk!

Pretty Lady said...

Everybody, listen to Starbuck. Starbuck knows whereof he speaks. He is becoming Wise.

And EN, Luke is right. Sour grapes are most decidedly ignoble.

Anonymous said...

Right on, Starbuck. Which is one reason I don't understand the appeal of puppy-boys.
I am emotional, dramatic, and "deep" enough for two people, thank you very much. If I were attracted to men who were that much like myself, I would become a lesbian (instead of just playing one at parties).
Give me a man my equal and opposite, strong and silent and utterly, coldly logical. Stick Mr. Spock's personality in Vincent D'Onofrio's body, and I think we have a deal ;)

Bob said...

Shut up?

Unbecoming of you PL.

I have related a truth to you: That straight males are not "somehow" inferior because you gush over some musician of vastly average competance... and they don't.

But then again, you're an actor also, and are acting out a fantany on this blog, so you get a 3.8 for consistancy.

Bob said...

Sorry.... fantany = fantasy.

Pretty Lady said...

Bob, I am shocked and saddened. I am devastated that you took my words as an accusation of inferiority. 'Difference,' my dear Bob, should never be taken to equal inferiority.

And you have still not acknowledged my point that ogling is ogling, in both genders; it merely takes on a more diffuse focus in the female.

Bob said...

"Bobert, you are male, and you are straight.You will never be able to understand. Emphasis mine.

That pretty much to me says you believe that to be shortcoming, a flaw, and therefore "inferior".

How else can one possibly interpret such a damning statment?

Pretty Lady said...

How else can one possibly interpret such a damning statment?

One could interpret it to mean that you are male, and straight, and thus biologically wired to respond sexually and emotionally to things that straight males respond to, and not to winsome young men. Huh?

Anonymous said...

PL: Put me down as not understanding John Mayer's appeal. I was in a doctor's office this morning and I saw a picture of him in People Magazine.

He looks like a puffy 13-year-old with a touch of Cushing's syndrome. And now he is dating Jessica Simpson?!?!?

I do admit that I have never heard his music, but from your description, he sounds like a James Taylor for the 21st century.

I used to love the Prentenders but I never had a 'crush' on Chrissie Hynde. I just thought she was a damn good singer, but physically unattractive. She has, however, never looked as good as she did with the original group.


Bob said...


Let's not detract the issue with sexual preferences. The issue remains that you have stated that a straight male will "never understand". That also implies that they cannot understand, and that suggests inferiority.

Are they missing "something" that women and gay boys have that prevent understanding? Do straight males have less emotion? Less feeling? Less empathy? Is their "wiring" less advanced? Their programming less refined, cruder?

Is that "something" that women and gays supposedly have a more advanced ability to comprehend? To feel? To express emotions?

Are straight males further down the evolutionary scale,less humanly developed, and thus incapable of experiencing the higher and more refined emotions?

What exactly is it you are claiming when you state that straight males can "never understand"?

Let's not be calling this another "rant" that you've heard a thousand times before, it isn't. You made a statement about me...I'd just appreciate your reasons for it.

And by the way "Starbuck", any same person would prefer the company of Prettylady to the company of a burping, farting male. So what's your point?

Bob said...

Oh yes, "Starbuck"... there is a caveat attached to that statement about Prettylady and the gaseous men...

I'm refering to the "Prettylady" as projected by this blog, not necessarily the individual writing it, since I have to way to know who that person really is.

But the statement probably would stand anyway.

Pretty Lady said...'s just...not....that....deep.

Anonymous said...


A Jeep is not inherently superior or inferior to a convertable Audi.

Why is this difficult?

If you're a Jeep, be proud and beep twice at the Pretty Lady.

I like your blogs. I wonder if you know various friends and relatives of mine.

Bob said...

OK Lady.

You're not going to answer. Understandable.

And as you you "Starbick" calling?

How juvenile, and predictable.

Anonymous said...

but it allowed me to vent... bad day at work. Broken controls everywhere. So, bobby, if you don't like it.... i got nothing. I hope you had a great day! I didn't, heh.

besides... now you can show how intelligent you are and really rake me over the coals with your high intelligent words

Anonymous said...

but it allowed me to vent... bad day at work. Broken controls everywhere. So, bobby, if you don't like it.... i got nothing. I hope you had a great day! I didn't, heh.

besides... now you can show how intelligent you are and really rake me over the coals with your high intelligent words

BoysMom said...

Well, perhaps I'll take a stab at it.
Bob, presumably, as a straight male, you find some interest in female breasts. As a straight female, I don't get it. Never have, never will. Why on earth would anyone over the age of breastfeeding be interested? I can understand a nursing baby wanting a hand on a breast, but a grown man?
However, it is quite clear that most straight males (all?) find brests alluring.

Anonymous said...

Beer. Football. Boobies...

Bob said...


Lol... perfectly clear. Both PL and I were using just-too-many-words.

Starbuck... sorry. Had a broken part myself, and couldn't find any bailing wire.

Pretty Lady said...

Hooray! Harmony reigns. Thanks, Boysmom!