Monday, September 18, 2006

Alien pheromones

Well, the apartment is still here. The Alpha Cat was, by all reports, a stellar host; the Brat spent the entire month in the ceiling, and had to be coaxed down with a bag of catnip upon Pretty Lady's return. The place is clean, and Pretty Lady has reinstalled the microwave, which was, unaccountably, in the utility closet.

Total damages (minor):

• one-half of the big ficus. (How do you kill one-half of a ficus?)

• blue glass Mason jar full of coconut, fell off top of fridge.

• other wheel of bicycle gone (this was to be expected. Replacement wheels look to be the carte blanche familial birthday gift, this year.)

• something wrong with central air--it runs, but doesn't cool down much, despite filter replacement. Call to Phil forecast for near future.

• habanera helix ivies are toast; bromeliad looks peaky. African violets appear to have been severely over-watered.

• apartment smells like cheap scented candles, plus Other People's pheromones.

This last issue is the one that bothers Pretty Lady the most. The other damages are so minimal that Pretty Lady feels like she's carping unnecessarily; after all, she got to be with a whole forest for a month. Surely this is worth the sacrifice of half a ficus.

But it is strangely disturbing when one's home smells wrong. Before even unloading the 4-wheeler, Pretty Lady lit a fire under her Personal Aromatherapy Formula, which she will now share.

Mix in burner, along with 2 Tbsp. water:

5 drops lavender oil
2 drops patchouli
2 drops ylang ylang

OPTIONAL: 5 drops sweet orange oil

(This formula is equally effective in bath-salt form. Simply mix proportionally with equal parts coarse sea-salt and baking soda.)

Light an unscented tea light under burner, burn all the way down. Light more unscented tea lights around house, particularly in bathroom. Other People's Soap is equally unsettling.


Anonymous said...

Sheesh. For a lady with a 4X4, you sure are finicky.

At least your cats didn't explore their anger at you for your heartless abandonment. That's what we get after just two days away.

Pretty Lady said...

A well-rounded princess, that's me!

Anonymous said...
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Pretty Lady said...

I used to think that patchouli was the way unwashed punky guys just naturally smelled, but since I liked a lot of the unwashed punky guys the aroma sort of grew on me. Now I find it provides a nice grounding note to counterbalance the sweetness of the ylang-ylang, which otherwise could become cloying.

Thanks for welcoming me back, although I feel strangely as though you have a telescope trained on my windows...

Anonymous said...

Yay, you're back! I sympathise with you on the smell of Other People. Since quitting smoking, I can actually *smell* things again, and it's tempting me to take the habit back up. Other people, and most particularly their cars and houses, smell *awful*.