Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Oops

Pretty Lady has Screwed Up. When she went to talk to her landlord, she forgot to:

1) Get the lease renewal signed BEFORE she brought up the junkies/front door issue.

2) Open her large blue eyes beseechingly as she described the terror she feels at the idea that she might encounter a Dangerous Person in her unlighted foyer at 2AM.

3) Let the landlord find out on his own that the front door needs to be re-hung if it is going to be lockable; also that the intercom system will have to be moved, or tenants will be forced to prop the door open anyway.

With the result that she has no lease, and is now being threatened with eviction. Drat, drat, drat. One drops the feminine wiles for ONE SECOND, and one is out on the STREET.

25 comments:

Morgan said...

Oh NO! That's awful!
Do you have any recourse at all?

dlkjdfsa said...

I have a mobilhomeminivan if you need it, neighbor. :)

Morgan said...

I think you should go back and offer your landlord a free massage. He'll relax, and perhaps change his mind.

danonymous said...

I am not exactly sure that offering a free massage is a good idea. By the description of your situation, sounds like the landlord would interpret that on the basis of lowest common denominator.....ooooh..crude thinking.
Perhaps Pretty Lady may consider resorting to page 120 of How to win friends and influence people.

i.e. "It occured to me that when I mentioned all this it migtht have come as a shock to you. I thought it over and if I you need any help fixing the door, I will do my best. I know nothing about tools (at which point you turn slightly and knock something off a shelf.....) whoops . I'm so sorry...but I'm sure I could learn from you."

prettylady said...

Danny, you are exactly right. Phil the Neanderthal would demand a blow job, then promptly evict me for prostitution. And you are also right about the sweet-talking incompetence act--that is precisely the way I have handled Phil for the last three years, with mostly success.

Last I checked, it was illegal to evict a tenant in NYC for requesting basic security and maintenance. I have a letter dated April 23, offering me a renewal of my lease, and a craven secretary who witnessed Phil's little tantrum. If it comes to a legal case, I have one.

But I am trusting that it will not go that far. I'm letting him think for a couple days, about the fact that he has to fix the door whether he evicts me or not. Hopefully he'll get over his PMS before he serves the papers.

danonymous said...

I take it that PMS in the case of Mr Phil NEanderthal means Putrid Maintenance Service.....I know.... a guy thing.
This should be more fun thaan chess....sort of like checkers where you jump over things and capture points.\
Have fun

The Aardvark said...

May you come out smelling like roses.

The Aardvark said...

Un-squirrel-eaten roses.

Morgan said...

"Last I checked, it was illegal to evict a tenant in NYC for requesting basic security and maintenance. I have a letter dated April 23, offering me a renewal of my lease, and a craven secretary who witnessed Phil's little tantrum. If it comes to a legal case, I have one."

Well, that's a relief. And a much better idea than the massage. I was being tongue-in-cheek. I'm quite sure offering men with power issues massages could lead them to demand more.
If nothing else, perhaps you will end up landing an apartment in some squirrel-free zone. If such a place exists.

danonymous said...

Hey morgan.....easy on the squirrels.....I happen to like them and have sometimes been mistaken for one.

Knee Anderthal said...

I hope I don't mistake you for a squirrel when you're crossing the street. I like to run over the varmits with my Hummer.

danonymous said...

hmmmmm. I think I know who you are..... every time one of my friends got run over by you, we would say....
What a Hummer?
(squirrel talk)

Morgan said...

"Hey morgan.....easy on the squirrels.....I happen to like them and have sometimes been mistaken for one."

Hey, I like squirrels as much as the next person and have raised more hurricane orphans than I can count. I just feel Pretty Lady's pain over her missing rosebuds. The little tree rats can be most inconvenient.

danonymous said...

NOw I am a tree rat...huh????
talk about the directions that religious people take....historically speaking...next comes a CRUSADE...to eliminate us.....
Ohhh...I miss the good ol' days when we all got along so welll on Noah's boat...maybe it's the overcrowding today....I mean then we went two by two....now we're talking multi-millions of two by two's...
Oh well...I think I'll go look for some more nuts elswhere. I found all the nuts I need here for now.
EJ Squirrel

danonymous said...

Morgan said....Hey, I like squirrels as much as the next person.

And some people I have heard follow that up with...."Some of my best friends are squirrels..." and that's when I start to worry.

prettylady said...

Oh, the magic of the World Wide Web. A dire conversation about eviction has transformed itself, in fifteen posts, to a frivolous one about squirrels. I do not know whether to be encouraged or despairing.

danonymous said...

COnversations that go from despair to squirrels are residual signs of always present hope manifested in mankind, my dear. Hope all is well.
Hope Phil sells out to a Cro Magnon and improves your lot and rental.

danonymous said...

....to be encouraged or despairing.

Well....it's nice to have choices, isn't it? Adn if we are lucky, as we age in experience, we are more often able to create choices instead of accepting choices thrust upon us (I think).

So...despairing.....in thousands of years , not much has changed in the nature of human problems and challenges and eliminating them.
And ...encouraging..... in thousands of years, no one has died from these problems and challenges, no matter the quantities of untold suffering that one has to endure.

AHha...a life conundrum.

prettylady said...

no one has died from these problems and challenges

No-one? Really? In thousands of years? I was under the impression that nearly all of them had. Surely I have not managed to convert you to Course in Miracles gnosticism, at this early date?

Drat. That was so easy.

danonymous said...

My dear PL...I have no idea....er...idear (brooklyn) what Course of Miracles gnosticism is.

IN reference to emotional distress, etc. I can't imagine that more than a handful of people have died over the thousands of years. Of course, as with the drugs and drug trials that large companies conduct, I am sure a few have died of side effects...such as beaten to death in an angry confrontation around issues....
burnt at the steak ( just like a stake)....etc.. but these were after-effects. The actual turmoil???just inner angst. Of course , I could be wrong. But being wrong won't change the past. Being right won't change the past either.
I am in the throes of conundrum fits today. You will have to excuse me.

danonymous said...

ok so i had to go to the dictionary to look up gnosticism...
What I learned...it's not a method of making pasta called gnochi.
Google led me to:
noun
1 gnosis

intuitive knowledge of spiritual truths; said to have been possessed by ancient Gnostics

.....can't say I was converted....we must have been in unrecognized agreement from the start.....perhaps
and besides...I am not actually a convertible. I may have dug my heels in deep enough so that my mental mobility is limited to ...from the neck up...and the rest of me is now set in its ways.

prettylady said...

Danny, you are such a goofball. I am fairly sure you haven't even been ingesting any controlled substances--you're just like that, and I love you for it.

Probably we have been in unrecognized agreement, and that's why we get along.

But--I hate to break it to you--more than a handful of people have died, period, over the last few thousand years, and it doesn't look like the death will stop any time soon. Which is one of the reasons I subscribe to the notion that all of this is just a figment of the filtered mind, and not real at all.

danonymous said...

Ms. PL said....I subscribe to the notion that all of this is just a figment of the filtered mind, and not real at all.

HI there, I feel likewise and completely in agrteement with you on the post. and definitely on the filtered mind. My research has shown that even filtered minds are carcinogenic sometimes more so than unfiltered minds. I do believe the FDA should approve stamping all new babies with an imprint...Warning...this one may be harmful to the human race. Just to help keep us all aware.
And yes, I wrote that without being under the influence of dogs. I have been dog-free for over 27 years and am a strident supporter of Nancy REagan's campaign of "Say No to Dogs".
Love

rlh said...

Why do they call womens monthly, P.M.S.?






Because Mad Cow was already taken.

:) Couldn't resist, now for the scolding. I will wait.

prettylady said...

Scold you? Moi? Whatever for?