Thursday, August 09, 2007

Masculinism

Men should be economically and socially independent. They shouldn't rely on women to take care of them.

Yes indeed. This spectacle of gentlemen who are unable to adequately feed or clothe themselves without constant supervision must cease. Young men must be taught the basics of cooking, cleaning, laundry, and the maintenance of necessary social contacts or the world shall Fall Apart.

There is no such thing as a "woman's job." It is wrong for women to be given preference for any job position, even if men traditionally aren't in that field.

Males who wish to apply for jobs as day care workers, choir directors, kindergarten teachers and Catholic priests must be given a thorough psychiatric evaluation before being allowed to interact with children, unsupervised.

Women and men should be held to the same sexual standards. If women can sleep around without judgment, men should be able to as well.

Pretty Lady must take this opportunity to register the information that nobody is fooling anyone by encouraging her to go home with El Chico Guapo if she feels like it. Somebody is simply trying to assuage his Inner Guilt and Shame, and it Will Not Work.

Men should take an equal role in dating. Men should ask out people they are interested in and take their turn in paying.

Pretty Lady has been telling this to anyone who will listen for years.

Men should accept their bodies as they are. Men should not have to conform to wacky beauty ideals.

If Pretty Lady's boyfriend would like to take his shirt off while lounging atop the cliff at the summit of the trail, who is she to stop him? This self-consciousness about one's pectorals is utterly misplaced. And she also thinks that shortish men are cute.

A man should be able to marry and have kids with anyone he wants - including another man.

Good luck, fellas!

Men should have the right to choose any path in life - from being a stay at home dad to a Fortune 500 CEO.

If a gentleman chooses to be a Fortune 500 CEO, he'd better have the chops to follow up, and not go down in Public Disgrace; the same goes for Decent Parenting.

Men should be encouraged to pursue education as much as women are.

Absolutely not. Any fellow who requires encouragement is already a Lost Cause; the only kind of man Pretty Lady likes is the sort who gets sucked into libraries, used book stores and compulsive Googling so easily that he frequently forgets to eat.

Men should have legal, easy access to all types of birth control - including the morning after pill.

Why should Pretty Lady always be the one to run to the pharmacy?

You would support a man for president (if you agreed with his politics).

Perhaps. But he would have to be exceptionally well-behaved.

10 comments:

k said...

Oh, how very!!!

This is the best response to that quiz that I've seen yet.

Chris Rywalt said...

PL sez:
The only kind of man Pretty Lady likes is the sort who gets sucked into libraries, used book stores and compulsive Googling so easily that he frequently forgets to eat.

I'm perfect for you then!

Other pluses: Balding; obese; type 2 diabetes; low testosterone; erectile dysfunction; extreme myopia; eczema; toenail fungus; already married with two kids.

I'm so hard to resist it's sickening, isn't it? I'm going to have to get me one of them Take-A-Number systems.

Chris Rywalt said...

Oh, I almost forgot: I'm frequently unemployed, too!

prettylady said...

Well, Chris, at least you're honest, as well as Completely Open. What's not to like? Unfortunately for you, Pretty Lady's current...well, she promised to be discreet.

Tee-hee, k!

Chris Rywalt said...

Actually, check that: After this morning, I'm pretty sure I don't have ED any more.

Speaking of significant others, how's Moby Dick?

prettylady said...

Chris, it would really, really, really break my heart if I had to ban you...

Chris Rywalt said...

Idle threats do not become you. You know you need my unpredictable additions.

Anonymous said...

After this morning, I'm pretty sure I don't have ED any more.

Go Chris!

DuckMan said...

Did I expose myself to cooties by reading this post? If so, why was there no disclaimer or warning?

Chris Rywalt said...

It's probably in the metatags.

<meta name="content-warning" content="cooties">