Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Brat's Big Adventure

Pretty Lady was awakened at an achingly early hour this morning, by the Voice of a Feline In Distress.

This is not an unusual occurrence. Pretty Lady, quite frankly, prefers to ignore feline distress before a certain hour of the AM, because said distress is generally linked to the empty state of the cat food dish. Her felines, not being either neglected or vegan, can generally avoid death from starvation until a civilized hour. So Pretty Lady usually puts her head under the pillow and goes back to sleep.

However, this AM, there was something a bit unusual about the Voice. It was sustained, monotonous, unwavering, and determined. It was also Distant. A hungry feline usually prefers to make his case for early feeding Up Close and Personally.

So Pretty Lady groggily got up to investigate.

Here, we have a photo of the Scene of the Crime. Pretty Lady allows that it is not an interesting photo. You will have to Simply Imagine the missing portion of the photo, which is the figure of the Brat, clinging to the outside of the security bars, behind the screen, with his back feet precariously tapping the extreme edge of the window ledge, four floors above the ground.

What had evidently occurred was that when Pretty Lady closed the window to the fire escape garden before retiring, the Brat was on the other side of it. The Brat has spent more than one night locked onto the fire escape; he doesn't enjoy it, but the weather this time of year is Balmy, and the fire escape may not be sybaritic, but he is not in any great danger of falling unless he puts his mind to it.

However, the Brat was not content to wait. Brilliantly, he observed that the other window was open; not so brilliantly, he failed to observe the impenetrable Screen Barrier. By the time he had committed himself, it was impossible to turn back.

Lord knows how long he had been hanging there.

Pretty Lady mildly regrets having hacked open the screen, but it stuck; she regrets not having a photo or witnesses, but she didn't know how much front-paw strength the Brat retained. It would have been truly tragic if his last ounce of courage had failed while she was pointing the camera, or fiddling with the screen. So you will just have to imagine it.


k said...


My blood ran cold.

Chris Rywalt said...

Four stories up, he had a good chance of survival. It depends mostly on his body mass index.