Sunday, November 01, 2009

One More Thing...

One Hundred Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part I)
46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
Particularly, never sit down at a table with three ladies who have gathered for lunch, next to the one you find most attractive, and monopolize the conversation for an hour and a half, by describing your job, your last four jobs, the personalities of the restaurant owners, and the stinginess of the diners regarding tips. Additionally, do not fail to bring any change when the ladies put down an amount of cash equal to twice the amount of the bill, until one of the ladies (not the one you are blatantly hitting on) says, "Could we have some change? We're not leaving you a 100% tip."

Thank you.


Chris Rywalt said...

What restaurant? I now know people in the New York restaurant business. I could have the offending party roughed up for you.

Pretty Lady said...

Actually, it was in Guanajuato, and the last I heard of the perpetrator, he had succeeded in marrying a sugar mama, had a kid, and moved back to Oregon. Astonishing what women will put up with.

Chris Rywalt said...

Hey, don't say it too loud. I've got this woman here putting up with an amazing amount of my crap. Don't ruin it for me.

Kind of funny you're still steaming over something a waiter did that long ago, though.

Pretty Lady said...

Nah, not 'still steamed' as much as 'sudden flashback when I read the NYT article.'

It's partly an anglophilic pride of role thing--when I'm doing a job, no matter how menial, I strive to be as perfectly appropriate to that role as possible. I.e. if I'm a secretary in the housekeeping department, I am pleasant, efficient, clean and discreet. If I am a spa coordinator, I coordinate with supreme courtesy and grace. If I am the Information Lady, I am informative and friendly.

Acting as though one's job is beneath one is supremely low-class.

mariner said...

I enjoyed reading the 100 things the other day. I hear you on what you're saying, Steph. I love(d) solo dining, and occasionally one is treated less, um, well than larger parties. Too bad. I'm a good tipper. Anyway, The Waiter Rant response is making me laugh, even out loud. My waiter bro sent it to me: