Friday, July 04, 2008

How to Remodel a T-shirt

Dear Franklin has sent Pretty Lady an t-shirt!

Rest assured that Franklin has been thoroughly excoriated for printing only men's shirts, when everybody knows that Pretty Lady only wears form-fitting baby-doll Ts. He is ashamed of himself, and will never do it again.

For ladies who are shaped like ladies, and not like adolescent boys, do not look good in oversized clothing, as Pretty Lady finally figured out, after years of dressing in men's extra-large. Men's extra-large does NOT make one's shapely female figure look gamine and frail by contrast, as Pretty Lady's self-conscious adolescent self fondly imagined; it makes one look like a three-masted schooner, sailing into harbor.

However, Pretty Lady was still in ballet training, the year that Flashdance came out; thus, she is unafraid to take a pair of ruthless scissors to even a brand-new T.

First, one removes the collar, and cuffs the sleeves.

You can see that this is already a vast improvement, despite the lack of waist. Conservative t-shirt remodelers might wish to stop here. However, sleeve cuffs can be hot, and tricky to maintain; let's trim them.

To enhance the waistline, simply flip the shirt inside out, sew a long arc about an inch in from each side, from hip to underarm, and trim the excess.

Might as well cut off the rest of the sleeves, and deepen the neckline, while we're at it. In ballet days we would cut the back down to below the shoulderblades, but this would have ruined one of the best elements of Franklin's design.

Thank you, Franklin! Happy Fourth!

1 comment:

Wollf Howlsatmoon said... a chuckle out of this post. I was in a bit of a mood Sunday, and went to Tommy Bahamas, a relatively high end "casual" Men's store out here.....

Purchased a very nice tee that was horrendously overpriced, and borrowed a pair of scissors from the rather trendy clerk.

The poor dear man stood aghast as I proceeded to remove both sleeves.

He proclaimed, "Oh No!! That's Tommy Bahama!!"

"Nope, that's me."

Hey, it's summer, this is So-Cal, and besides, I got a new tattoo...