tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post8401837363185365966..comments2023-10-31T06:01:54.153-04:00Comments on Pretty Lady: The Real ManPretty Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00342833918614545778noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-32584434580000884222007-04-05T11:51:00.000-04:002007-04-05T11:51:00.000-04:00Of course, Daddy has flaws. But what he does have ...Of course, Daddy has flaws. But what he <I>does</I> have is integrity, in spades; this integrity was inherited from his father, who got it from his, who got it from his. It's a deeply ingrained thing. So when Pretty Lady discovered, at the age of 18, that 99.9% of males would even <I>consider</I> doing the Things That They demonstrably Do, she went mildly ballistic for a decade or so. <BR/><BR/>She's calming down, now, but she still obviously has her lapses.Pretty Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00342833918614545778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-72061837460453981772007-04-05T11:47:00.000-04:002007-04-05T11:47:00.000-04:00Of course it is, JWYW. Pretty Lady's problem is t...Of course it is, JWYW. Pretty Lady's problem is that her daddy is so perfect, he set the standard, and so far nobody else has even come close to measuring up.Pretty Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00342833918614545778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-66958416477439348632007-04-05T00:52:00.000-04:002007-04-05T00:52:00.000-04:00Is it appropriate here to ask if some womens' expe...Is it appropriate here to ask if some womens' experience with their fathers (for better or ill) affect their definition of what a real man is?<BR/>I know it's an old psychological saw, like the proverbial "how he treats his mother is how he'll treat you, ladies". When one's paramour has a father that was, by all accounts, quite spectacular, can't it color the relationship somewhat?Judge Well Ye Wolveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18248310627650423213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-26976824722568374542007-04-04T20:13:00.000-04:002007-04-04T20:13:00.000-04:00PL sez:Even better than you.Let's set the bar a li...PL sez:<BR/><I>Even better than you.</I><BR/><BR/>Let's set the bar a little higher than that, shall we? Being a better daddy than I am is like being a better gymnast than John Candy.Chris Rywalthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15766746064219235983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-6305222118522484322007-04-04T19:55:00.000-04:002007-04-04T19:55:00.000-04:00Every time you mention him, I want to meet your da...<I>Every time you mention him, I want to meet your daddy just a little bit more.</I><BR/><BR/>He's the <B>best.</B> The <B>best</B> daddy in the whole wide world. Even better than you.<BR/><BR/><I>I can't imagine any sane person choosing Taos, New Mexico, as a destination.</I><BR/><BR/>Pretty Lady had a college roommate from Taos! We got along famously!<BR/><BR/><I>It sounds very much like the lady does not want to "own" the request/demand that she has placed on her man. Instead he is supposed to want what she wants him to want</I><BR/><BR/>Ah. We are having a contextual difficulty, here. You would be correct if the decision under contemplation was a decision directly affecting the lady's life, as in "I cannot stand to live in this hell-hole one more second." Under those circumstances, the decision is not an 'I' decision on the gentleman's part, unless he wishes to instantly terminate the relationship. It is a 'we' decision, which falls under a different rubric entirely.<BR/><BR/>No, what Pretty Lady was thinking of was conversations less fraught with practical significance, as in "I was thinking about what you said about the inadequacy of the Categorical Imperative in formulating a cohesive ethical philosophy, and I've decided to read some Alan Watts."<BR/><BR/><I>sorting through the cognitive dissonance created by what real-life women want and what I was taught liberated feminist women supposedly want.</I><BR/><BR/>Hint: When you ask a woman "What do you want?" and she tells you <B>exactly</B> what she wants, in no ambiguous terms, the correct answer is NOT "You can have anything but that. So, what do you want?"<BR/><BR/>A word to the wise.Pretty Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00342833918614545778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-22343937761709378432007-04-04T19:11:00.000-04:002007-04-04T19:11:00.000-04:00A lady does not wish to be the prime motivating fa...<EM>A lady does not wish to be the prime motivating factor for all of your actions. This is too much pressure, and it makes her feel decidedly unsafe.<BR/>...<BR/>However, it gives a lady a warm, fuzzy, proud feeling to know that on some level, she is a prevailing influence in her man's life. There is nothing sweeter than the sound of the words, 'I was thinking about what you said, and I've decided...'.</EM><BR/><BR/>...that the answer is nevertheless 'no'.<BR/><BR/>The above sounds so very much like the circular argument Daisycat and I engaged in early in our married life.<BR/><BR/>It sounds very much like the lady does not want to "own" the request/demand that she has placed on her man. Instead he is supposed to want what she wants him to want without any reference whatsoever to her being the reason he is pursuing what she wants.<BR/><BR/>And of course if he still won't comply, well there's a whole cupboard full of additional tricks to try. <BR/><BR/>Then again I'm a recovering ex-feminist still sorting through the cognitive dissonance created by what real-life women want and what I was taught liberated feminist women supposedly want.Desert Cathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13656526816699347744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-83206832373753062962007-04-04T13:06:00.000-04:002007-04-04T13:06:00.000-04:00"Hot damn! It's Taos by sunset or bust!"Thanks Cro...<EM> "Hot damn! It's Taos by sunset or bust!"</EM><BR/><BR/>Thanks Crom, for that gut-buster!<BR/><BR/>I can't imagine any sane person choosing Taos, New Mexico, as a destination.<BR/><BR/>A place to drive through quickly perhaps, while picking up some outrageously priced indian jewelry featuring cheap, acid-enhanced(to bring out color) turquoise made by either 1/8th(or less) indians or worn-out hippies, while avoiding the Mexicans--legal and illegal--who want all whites to disappear.<BR/><BR/>Or maybe buy a little piece of colorful pottery--costing a king's ransom--that will sit and gather dust on some knick-knack shelf back home.(Unless you like Maria's shiny black stuff, which will cost two king's ransoms)<BR/><BR/>Or maybe purchase some garish painting by a transplanted eastern hippite who came to Taos to experience the mystic "Taos hum".<BR/><BR/>You can find a <EM>few</EM> truly fine items--and artists--in Taos, but they are vastly outnumbered by the incompetnet clodhoppers that fill the tourist stalls and stores. <BR/><BR/>Taos is--in reality--New Mexico's number one place for dropouts from all walks of like to go and hide. <BR/><BR/>"Taos or bust!"<BR/><BR/>Never, ever, saw a bumper sticker that said that. Not in thirty five years of living in nothern New Mexico.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-75054564976573245352007-04-04T11:34:00.000-04:002007-04-04T11:34:00.000-04:00"Crom, you are so freakin' literal-minded."Who me?...<I>"Crom, you are so freakin' literal-minded."</I><BR/><BR/>Who me? Aw hell, darlin' that's just me knowing what I want, and being consistent about it.<BR/><BR/>*slow grin*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-83911221229637253472007-04-04T10:57:00.000-04:002007-04-04T10:57:00.000-04:00PL sez:Pretty Lady's brilliant engineer daddyEvery...PL sez:<BR/><I>Pretty Lady's brilliant engineer daddy</I><BR/><BR/>Every time you mention him, I want to meet your daddy just a little bit more.Chris Rywalthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15766746064219235983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-70335697702190342202007-04-03T19:44:00.000-04:002007-04-03T19:44:00.000-04:00Ah, yes, JWYW, it occurred to me after writing thi...Ah, yes, JWYW, it occurred to me after writing this post that Pretty Lady <I>has</I> known women who appeared perfectly content with a lump of a fellow who allowed himself to be directed without protest or other commentary. Perhaps the question could be amended to "What do reasonably sane, intelligent and healthy women want?"<BR/><BR/>Your point about fear is well-taken. It is impossible to guarantee absolute security under all circumstances; even Pretty Lady's brilliant engineer daddy came close to being laid off during Difficult Times. However, there are certain behaviors which are guaranteed to lead to trouble; if a man makes a committed habit of abusing his health, stealing from his employers, manipulating his friends, and dealing drugs in order to make ends meet, the long-term prognosis is Not Good.<BR/><BR/><I>It's funny PL, your post actually spoke about what women don't want</I><BR/><BR/>Yes, funny, that. Perhaps this is because most of the whining to which Pretty Lady has been subject, has come from men who refuse to acknowledge their egregious membership in the 'don't want' categories.Pretty Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00342833918614545778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-56320054128184127742007-04-03T17:33:00.000-04:002007-04-03T17:33:00.000-04:00If I may disagree with the predicate question. The...If I may disagree with the predicate question. The question truly is "What does <I>this</I> woman, the one standing in front of me, want?"<BR/>Yes, the answer is acheived by items 3 and 4. Yes, the ability to do so is set up by having items 1 and 2 taken care of- well, at least as operating goals anyway. <BR/>(hey, except for NASA guys, most of us are not rocket scientists)<BR/>But us buckaroos would be better off by going straight to the point, than trying to answer a general question. Individual women, being humans, want different things.<BR/>It's funny PL, your post actually spoke about what women <I>don't</I> want, a subject with which I have extensive experience.<BR/>I can tell you one thing, Crom- women don't want to be afraid. That is a different animal than wanting security. Going to Taos works fine for most women in my experience, as long as they are not afraid to do so on some level. Finding that level leads us back to the begining of my comment.Judge Well Ye Wolveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18248310627650423213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-51802181963404039692007-04-03T15:20:00.000-04:002007-04-03T15:20:00.000-04:00Crom, you are so freakin' literal-minded. You for...Crom, you are so freakin' literal-minded. You forget that you are talking to the lady who DUMPED the financially secure gentleman who wished to spend his time motorcycling around the world with the lady of his dreams. <BR/><BR/>It is primarily intellectual, emotional, creative and spiritual landscapes which must be constantly renewed, to avoid the sink of stagnation. These have the advantage of being nearly free, infinitely nuanced, and endlessly engrossing, to the person who merely takes the trouble. This is also why it is completely inexcusable to allow these territories to remain largely unexplored in the course of a long-term relationship.Pretty Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00342833918614545778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20403719.post-82656190830119805202007-04-03T14:28:00.000-04:002007-04-03T14:28:00.000-04:00I agreed with most of your post up until this, "Wh...I agreed with most of your post up until this, <I>"What women want is a trusted and intimate companion in a landscape which is always, and intriguingly, new."</I><BR/><BR/>Based on your stated beliefs and archived posts I would argue that this is utterly correct for <I>you</I> but not the majority of females that currently populate the United States. I would contend that what most females want above all else is <B>security</B>. Provided that you engage the female in conversation and provide intellectual stimulus, I sincerely doubt that she wants her life uprooted in a perpetual search for new experiences. My personal experience is that most females are nest-builders provided there is an environment that is safe and secure. I have lived in a lot of different places, and always the theme hummed by the various women in my life is "Let's settle down, buy a home, start a family," not "Hot damn! It's Taos by sunset or bust!" <BR/><BR/>Perhaps I am overstating my example there to provide the reader with a wry smile, but the essence of the argument remains the same. Women certainly do love to be spirited away for a weekend in Austin, but they want to come home by Sunday night, pick up a book and fall asleep in their own bed.<BR/><BR/>Where the males usually fail, in my opinion - is when they stop looking at the horizon and champing at the bit to get on their horse and ride thataway. Instead, in a foolish attempt to please their woman, they allow that pioneer spirit to die and they plop unceremoniously onto the couch and promptly fall asleep for the next twenty years, usually until they find that their woman has absconded with the stable boy who indeed still paws the ground when looking at the horizon. <BR/><BR/>The trick is to find a woman who isn't threatened by the horizons, and who understands that to kill that spirit of adventure means that instead of the rugged partner they dreamed of, they have instead turned their Dr. Indiana Jones into Mr. Homer Simpson.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com